CITY CENTRE PUB IS LOOKING FOR BAR AND CATERING STAFF. THIS IS ENGLAND, SO NO COMPETENCE IS REQUIRED, NOR ANY CUSTOMER SERVICE SKILLS. YOU CAN BE A COMPLETE BUBBLEHEAD WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE TOAST WITHOUT A RECIPE, JUST AS LONG AS YOU ARE FEMALE, AGED 18-25 WITH LARGE KNOCKERS AND (PREFERABLY) BLONDE HAIR.
MOST APPLICANTS FOR JOBS IN THE UK PROBABLY KNOW BY NOW THAT A LOW IQ IS A DEFINITE ADVANTAGE - AND THESE POSITIONS ARE NO EXCEPTION. IF YOU DO POSSESS A BRAIN LARGER THAN A PEPPERCORN, YOU WILL BE EXPECTED TO CONCEAL THE FACT AND BE ABLE TO TALK KNOWLEDGEABLY ABOUT CELEBRITIES AND FOOTBALL. UNIVERSITY GRADUATES WILL BE CONSIDERED, BUT ONLY IF THEY HAVE ATTAINED DEGREES IN MEANINGLESS SUBJECTS. SO IF YOU'VE SPENT 3 YEAR STUDYING THE REFORMATION AND ITS IMPACT ON ENGLISH SOCIETY, FORGET IT.
SO LET'S HEAR FROM ALL YOU GORGEOUS DUMBOS NOW! COME AND WORK FOR A TRULY ENGLISH BUSINESS THAT WILL TREASURE AND VALUE YOUR INABILITY TO DO THE JOB, AND REWARD YOU GENEROUSLY FOR IT. NO OVER-25s, PLEASE. THEY ALWAYS KNOW TOO MUCH.
MOST APPLICANTS FOR JOBS IN THE UK PROBABLY KNOW BY NOW THAT A LOW IQ IS A DEFINITE ADVANTAGE - AND THESE POSITIONS ARE NO EXCEPTION. IF YOU DO POSSESS A BRAIN LARGER THAN A PEPPERCORN, YOU WILL BE EXPECTED TO CONCEAL THE FACT AND BE ABLE TO TALK KNOWLEDGEABLY ABOUT CELEBRITIES AND FOOTBALL. UNIVERSITY GRADUATES WILL BE CONSIDERED, BUT ONLY IF THEY HAVE ATTAINED DEGREES IN MEANINGLESS SUBJECTS. SO IF YOU'VE SPENT 3 YEAR STUDYING THE REFORMATION AND ITS IMPACT ON ENGLISH SOCIETY, FORGET IT.
SO LET'S HEAR FROM ALL YOU GORGEOUS DUMBOS NOW! COME AND WORK FOR A TRULY ENGLISH BUSINESS THAT WILL TREASURE AND VALUE YOUR INABILITY TO DO THE JOB, AND REWARD YOU GENEROUSLY FOR IT. NO OVER-25s, PLEASE. THEY ALWAYS KNOW TOO MUCH.
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