Economy fooked, at least they are tough on crime

[DimPrawn]

I wondered how long it would take you. Watch it you are getting almost as dull and predictable as CyberTory

That hurt!

[Bagpuss]

Yes barstewards, these Tory voting Merc driving ipod owners.



At least you are safe baggy, having nothing worth nicking.

I wondered how long it would take you. Watch it you are getting almost as dull and predictable as CyberTory

[DimPrawn]

A mate very recently had his Merc stolen off his drive while he was sleeping. Stole his Laptops, Wii, IPods, credit cards while they were at it.
He works away, now his wife and kids are scared in their own home!

Barstewards

Yes barstewards, these Tory voting Merc driving ipod owners.



At least you are safe baggy, having nothing worth nicking.

[expat]

There will be a national knife database, to store scanned images, identifying properties and owner’s personal details for every knife in the country. This database will be linked to the national e-mail and spam database, the ID card register and police DNA databases so as to cross reference the DNA of knives with the unique metallic properties of their owners. Or maybe it’s the other way around. Anyway, Cack Gemini and Accidenture have analysed our wishes and have gained the tender for this project, costed at 789 billion pounds to be funded partly by PFIs. This investment will make a major contribution to the war on terror and help to protect hard working families against those who would cause damage to our way of life in the wake of the problems which started in America and spread to the rest of the world.

I get farther and farther into these things before I realise that they are satire, probably.

[Bagpuss]

A mate very recently had his Merc stolen off his drive while he was sleeping. Stole his Laptops, Wii, IPods, credit cards while they were at it.
He works away, now his wife and kids are scared in their own home!

Barstewards

[Mich the Tester]

A related quote from the Times:



But it'll be OK, because Jacqui Smith is holding a 'theft summit'.

Linky

There will be a national knife database, to store scanned images, identifying properties and owner’s personal details for every knife in the country. This database will be linked to the national e-mail and spam database, the ID card register and police DNA databases so as to cross reference the DNA of knives with the unique metallic properties of their owners. Or maybe it’s the other way around. Anyway, Cack Gemini and Accidenture have analysed our wishes and have gained the tender for this project, costed at 789 billion pounds to be funded partly by PFIs. This investment will make a major contribution to the war on terror and help to protect hard working families against those who would cause damage to our way of life in the wake of the problems which started in America and spread to the rest of the world.

[Mich the Tester]

Do the fraud and burglary figures just relate to those perpetrated by the government?

Do they include the banks?

[ratewhore]

A related quote from the Times:

The latest figures also showed that drug offences rose 9 per cent, perhaps as people took refuge from harsh economic reality in illegal substances.

But it'll be OK, because Jacqui Smith is holding a 'theft summit'.

Linky

[PM-Junkie]

Do the fraud and burglary figures just relate to those perpetrated by the government?

[DimPrawn]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7844455.stm

Rises in recorded crime

Knife/Sharp instrument robbery: 18%
Fraud/forgery: 16%
Drugs: 9%
Home burglary: 4%
Other burglary: 3%

Source: Home Office