Reply to: Was the Crucifixion a terrible mistake ?

[The Late, Great JC]

Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper?

Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"?

Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir.

Brian: Well, what happened?

Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir.

Brian: Cured?

Ex-Leper: Yes sir, bloody miracle, sir. Bless you!

Brian: Who cured you?

Ex-Leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by or leave! "You're cured, mate." Bloody do-gooder.

BRIAN: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again?

EX-LEPER: Ah, yeah. I could do that, sir. Yeah. Yeah, I could do that, I suppose. What I was thinking was, I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the arse, to be blunt. Excuse my French, sir, but, uh--

MANDY: Brian! Come and clean your room out.

BRIAN: There you are.

EX-LEPER: Thank you, sir. Thanks-- Half a denary for me bloody life story?

BRIAN: There's no pleasing some people.

EX-LEPER: That's just what Jesus said, sir.

[voron]

Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper?

Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"?

Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir.

Brian: Well, what happened?

Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir.

Brian: Cured?

Ex-Leper: Yes sir, bloody miracle, sir. Bless you!

Brian: Who cured you?

Ex-Leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by or leave! "You're cured, mate." Bloody do-gooder.

[The Late, Great JC]

"Romanis eut Domus

....People called Romans they go the House

What's that boy?"

"No, it says Romans go home"

"No it doesn't"

CENTURION: Now, write it out a hundred times.



BRIAN: Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.



CENTURION: Hail Caesar. If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.

[Clownio]

"Romanis eut Domus

....People called Romans they go the House

What's that boy?"

"No, it says Romans go home"

"No it doesn't"

[The Late, Great JC]

And the bezan shall be huge and black, and the eyes thereof red with the blood of living creatures, and the whore of Babylon shall ride forth on a three-headed serpent, and throughout the lands, there'll be a great rubbing of parts . Yeeah...

LGJC - In "Something for WS" mode!

[wendigo100]

"You're fecking nicked, mate!"

[John Galt]

He's not the messiah - he's a very naughty boy

[The Late, Great JC]

He has a wife, you know. Do you know what she's called? She's called... Incontinentia. Incontinentia Buttocks.

I've had enough of this wowdy webel sniggewing behaviour. Silence! Call yourselves Pwaetowian guards? You're not-- Seize him! Seize him! Blow your noses and seize him!

[voron]

He has a wife, you know. Do you know what she's called? She's called... Incontinentia. Incontinentia Buttocks.

[BoredBloke]

Welease Wodney!

[Chico]

How did Bazza get involved?

[The Late, Great JC]

Ermmm does the Resurrection ring any bells

We're talking about Brian, Chico!

[Chico]

Ermmm does the Resurrection ring any bells

[PerlOfWisdom]

Welease Woddewick.

It's a shame he didn't have a father who cared about him and who was omnipotent.

[wendigo100]

Why on earth did the crowd shout for Him (Barbarus) rather than Jesus, was it all a mixup by the Romans ?

Good question.

Imagine for a moment that Pilate's chief centurion was called Ianus Blairus...