Contractor Lifestyle

[TimberWolf]

I've booked Bill Gates to do an opening speech (after which we will kick him out) followed by the Iraqi shoe chucker and Bush recreating a recent press performance - apparently their double act is very popular amongst Muslims such as Madonna and is making Bush a rich man. After dinner Danny Minogue will do some pole dancing and perform lesbian sex with her sister and then everyone will retire to the drawing room for cheese and biscuits. I doubt I will invite Hawking again after last time.

[Doggy Styles]

Aren't you a bit old for clowns?

Nobody is too old for clowns. We elected the c***s didn't we?

[Spacecadet]

That's nothing. I've invited Gordon Brown to my birthday party.

[tumbleweed]

Aren't you a bit old for clowns?

[Doggy Styles]

That's nothing. I've invited Gordon Brown to my birthday party.

[tumbleweed]

[Cheshire Cat]

At my 30th, the wife held a party for 500 of my closest friends on board the QE2, which we hired for a private function. As I was sharing canapes and a joke with Nelson Mandela and Christopher Biggins, who should helicopter onto the deck to play an impromtu birthday gig but a reformed Led Zeppelin...

...which was nice.

[Spacecadet]

What a lovely Xmas present to receive: Katy Perry is coming to Denmark to play during my birthday party next year.

Wouldn't that be a birthday present?

[AtW]

What a lovely Xmas present to receive: Katy Perry is coming to Denmark to play during my birthday party next year.

[foritisme]

Don't get too excited, she has a boyfriend, but likes kissing girls.

[threaded]

What a lovely Xmas present to receive: Katy Perry is coming to Denmark to play during my birthday party next year.