Fessing up on stupid things you have done - Contractor UK Bulletin Board

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Lucifer Box replied

16 September 2005, 13:36
Originally posted by WageSlave

I had the opportunity. Being an art lover, she was very keen on modelling for me. But, I'm an honest chap and the pork sword remained steady.

Ah well, there you go. I have more of a mutton dagger these days.
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WageSlave replied

16 September 2005, 11:19
Originally posted by Lucifer Box

Go on, give her one. Look how well it turned out for JC.

I had the opportunity. Being an art lover, she was very keen on modelling for me. But, I'm an honest chap and the pork sword remained steady.
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Lucifer Box replied

16 September 2005, 11:14
Originally posted by WageSlave

Lucifer, it really is a friend of mine. I know you are shocked to learn that I have friends - it only happens occassionally
I can honestly state that I have never cheated on my wife. As you know, I have the purest of minds and am completely blind to other women.

Go on, give her one. Look how well it turned out for JC.
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WageSlave replied

16 September 2005, 11:10
Originally posted by Lucifer Box

Yes, of course, >cough<, a close errr friend of yours, eh?

Lucifer, it really is a friend of mine. I know you are shocked to learn that I have friends - it only happens occassionally
I can honestly state that I have never cheated on my wife. As you know, I have the purest of minds and am completely blind to other women.
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Lucifer Box replied

16 September 2005, 10:49
Originally posted by WageSlave

You didn't, did you? Why? Deny everything, man!

A close friend of mine confessed to her boyfriend that she had had an affair. He had no idea and didn't suspect a thing. Since that day he has never trusted her and her friendships with men have been a secret.

Yes, of course, >cough<, a close errr friend of yours, eh?
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WageSlave replied

16 September 2005, 10:48
Originally posted by n5gooner

sorry churchill, sorry JC, - its Friday contracts ending hic. pub lunch hic...just a few beers hic..cup....must remember to save the receipts.

n5gooner, you're not the great MC I've been searching for, are you?
Is your name Mark and did you serve in the RAF?
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n5gooner replied

16 September 2005, 10:34
Originally posted by The Late, Great JC

You're pissed again, aren't you gooner?

sorry churchill, sorry JC, - its Friday contracts ending hic. pub lunch hic...just a few beers hic..cup....must remember to save the receipts.
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The Late, Great JC replied

16 September 2005, 10:28
Originally posted by n5gooner

so it was worth you coming clean then in the end, better sex life than before the affar, prehaps there is a morrle there............

You're pissed again, aren't you gooner?
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n5gooner replied

16 September 2005, 10:28
so it was worth you coming clean then in the end, better sex life than before the affar, prehaps there is a morrle there............
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The Late, Great JC replied

16 September 2005, 10:26
Originally posted by n5gooner

But JC does she still let you get your leg over with her.....or is that all over now?

Ohhhhhh Yesssss. Stops me wandering.
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The Late, Great JC replied

16 September 2005, 10:26
Originally posted by DimPrawn

She's probably shagging every swinging dick she can get her hands on behind your back. Not trying to worry you or anything....

Why be worried?

There was a farmer in Denshaw who's wife was shagging a guy in the village. The unfortunate thing was the whole village new as the wife and her fancy man were blatant about it. This went on for years. Eventually, the farmer found out what was going on, took down his shotgun, drove into the village, shot them both and drove to the police station to surrender himself. The judge sentenced him to 3 months - Manslaughter due to diminished responsibility.

The Farmer still lives in Denshaw...
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n5gooner replied

16 September 2005, 10:25
But JC does she still let you get your leg over with her.....or is that all over now?
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WageSlave replied

16 September 2005, 10:20
Originally posted by The Late, Great JC

She turned out to be a bunny boiler... She threatened to tell my wife so I got in there first. Then SWMBO went out and had a little chat with her... It didn't save me from a severe bollocking afterwards and me from feeling like a worthless tulip for quite a while. Still, hey ho, she's forgiven me but I know she'll never forget...

Well, you've got balls, JC, I'll say that Even though she was about to blow the story it still took guts to come clean like that.

Next time remember WS; he'll make a phone call to the wife warning about a blackmail artist targeting happy couples.
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DimPrawn replied

16 September 2005, 10:18
She's probably shagging every swinging dick she can get her hands on behind your back. Not trying to worry you or anything....
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The Late, Great JC replied

16 September 2005, 10:16
Originally posted by WageSlave

You didn't, did you? Why? Deny everything, man!

A close friend of mine confessed to her boyfriend that she had had an affair. He had no idea and didn't suspect a thing. Since that day he has never trusted her and her friendships with men have been a secret.

She turned out to be a bunny boiler... She threatened to tell my wife so I got in there first. Then SWMBO went out and had a little chat with her... It didn't save me from a severe bollocking afterwards and me from feeling like a worthless tulip for quite a while. Still, hey ho, she's forgiven me but I know she'll never forget...
Leave a comment: