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Previously on "Am I a bad person...."

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  • Board Game Geek
    replied
    don't dogs go out of their way to sniff around things that we with our more limited olfactory sensibilities avoid?
    Why yes they do.

    However, consider this.

    Nearly all canines have a superlative olfactory sense.

    Now consider Guide Dogs, which are hand-picked for their exceptional level of ocular and olfactory sense.

    You're average mutt is going to think "Ewww, that's a bad one".

    A Guide Dog on the other hand, is going to go in to a state of near catatonia by an especially rank human chufferance of the buttocks.

    Think of it as OD'ing for a dog.

    Leave a comment:


  • Board Game Geek
    replied
    Ah, the joys of setting 'em up so that others can pounce eh ?

    Leave a comment:


  • TimberWolf
    replied
    Originally posted by Board Game Geek View Post
    Otherwise poor "Lucky" the Guide Dog would have been gassed on the underground.

    I can visualise the poor chap getting to the end of the escalator and hearing an almighty ripping noise as Lucky gets a Number 1 shave, and feeling his lead go limp.

    Utterly horrific !
    Hmm, maybe. On the other hand, don't dogs go out of their way to sniff around things that we with our more limited olfactory sensibilities avoid?

    Leave a comment:


  • Churchill
    replied
    Originally posted by Board Game Geek View Post
    That's a relief (pun intended)

    Otherwise poor "Lucky" the Guide Dog would have been gassed on the underground.

    I can visualise the poor chap getting to the end of the escalator and hearing an almighty ripping noise as Lucky gets a Number 1 shave, and feeling his lead go limp.

    Utterly horrific !
    Yeah, it's horrible when your lead goes limp, eh, BGG?

    Leave a comment:


  • Board Game Geek
    replied
    it was less dense than air, however
    That's a relief (pun intended)

    Otherwise poor "Lucky" the Guide Dog would have been gassed on the underground.

    I can visualise the poor chap getting to the end of the escalator and hearing an almighty ripping noise as Lucky gets a Number 1 shave, and feeling his lead go limp.

    Utterly horrific !

    Leave a comment:


  • lightng
    replied
    Originally posted by TimberWolf View Post
    Brownian motion
    ... scientific term relating to the spread of poo particles

    Leave a comment:


  • TimberWolf
    replied
    Originally posted by Bob Dalek View Post
    Saw a programme that said that when one farts, minuscule particles of turd are emitted. Just sharing the wealth.
    Ah, these particles would presumably be denser than air, and therefore detectable by those below. More research into this phenomenon is needed.

    Leave a comment:


  • Bob Dalek
    replied
    Saw a programme that said that when one farts, minuscule particles of turd are emitted. Just sharing the wealth.

    Leave a comment:


  • bellymonster
    replied
    Originally posted by TimberWolf View Post
    Good question. This depends on how far away the blind man (the receiver) was from you (the transmitter), as the fart would probably have had a tendency to rise (being warmer and less dense than the surrounding air) and to track inside your clothing and follow in your turbulent wake up the escalator, rather than descend or remain at the same height. It's true that the gas would also be radiated in all directions by Brownian motion, but quite slowly and the potency would diminish quickly by the inverse cube of distance. Much of the fart would therefore either have been diverted away from the receiver (less had he had been higher up) and he may well have been spared the worst of the effects, though turbulence is a tricky thing to model. The fact that it was detected by you with a sensor on the opposite end and opposite side of the transmission suggests that the fart did indeed follow you up the escalator and that it was less dense than air, however.
    So you're saying I'm not guilty then.

    Leave a comment:


  • TimberWolf
    replied
    Originally posted by bellymonster View Post
    I was going up the escalator on the tube this morning and let out a bit of a eggy fart. Behind me, 2 steps lower (and hence his nose was around the height of my arse) was a blind man.

    With his heightened sense of smell, could this have been a dangerous thing to do?

    I truly didn't know he was there until I'd let it go.
    Good question. This depends on how far away the blind man (the receiver) was from you (the transmitter), as the fart would probably have had a tendency to rise (being warmer and less dense than the surrounding air) and to track inside your clothing and follow in your turbulent wake up the escalator, rather than descend or remain at the same height. It's true that the gas would also be radiated in all directions by Brownian motion, but quite slowly and the potency would diminish quickly by the inverse cube of distance. Much of the fart would therefore either have been diverted away from the receiver (less had he had been higher up) and he may well have been spared the worst of the effects, though turbulence is a tricky thing to model. The fact that it was detected by you with a sensor on the opposite end and opposite side of the transmission suggests that the fart did indeed follow you up the escalator and that it was less dense than air, however.

    Leave a comment:


  • bellymonster
    replied
    Obviously there is more to escalator etiquette than I realised.
    Anyone know a good finishing school?

    Leave a comment:


  • lightng
    replied
    Originally posted by Ruprect View Post
    a


    Originally posted by Chugnut View Post
    A belly one.
    Oh yeah. Never saw that. My bad.

    Leave a comment:


  • Chugnut
    replied
    Originally posted by lightng View Post
    The blind man aside, you crop-dusted on an escalator on the tube where casualties are likely to number in their tens. What kind of a monster are you?
    A belly one.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ruprect
    replied
    Originally posted by lightng View Post
    The blind man aside, you crop-dusted on an escalator on the tube where casualties are likely to number in their tens. What kind of a monster are you?
    a

    Leave a comment:


  • rhubarb
    replied
    Originally posted by lightng View Post
    The blind man aside, you crop-dusted on an escalator on the tube where casualties are likely to number in their tens. What kind of a monster are you?
    That's a valid point.

    Rhubarb.

    Leave a comment:

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