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Previously on "Monthly inquiry into the distribution and services sector"

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  • HairyArsedBloke
    replied
    Originally posted by Xenophon View Post
    Now I do like the use of the word 'craft' there, HAB.

    Lovely stuff.

    I must shoe-horn 'craft' into more of my waffling.
    I know a chap who gets the 'word of the day' e-mail from Dictionary.com

    He sets a task to use the word whatever it is in some document or email. Today's is "Knell - The stoke of a bell tolled at a funeral or at the death of a person". Should be easy. Although 'Chichi' from last Wednesday must have been tough to get into a spec.

    Leave a comment:


  • Xenophon
    replied
    Originally posted by HairyArsedBloke View Post
    The ONS don't just 'make the numbers up'

    They follow careful instructions from the spin doctors from nuLieBore to craft plausible figures that present government 'successes' in the best possible way.
    Now I do like the use of the word 'craft' there, HAB.

    Lovely stuff.

    I must shoe-horn 'craft' into more of my waffling.

    Leave a comment:


  • HairyArsedBloke
    replied
    Originally posted by Cyberman View Post
    Why not ?!! They do on everything else !!
    The ONS don't just 'make the numbers up'

    They follow careful instructions from the spin doctors from nuLieBore to craft plausible figures that present government 'successes' in the best possible way.

    Leave a comment:


  • TykeMerc
    replied
    I had them send me some form or other about a decade ago, it wanted all sorts of numerical info. I called them to find out what the hell they meant when they said that there were penalties for failing to fill in the form.

    I sent it back with a set of "estimated" figures and notes attached that the figures were subject to an error marging of +- 500%. I also added notes that under no circumstances would I ever provide them with figures of a greater accuracy and that I was only filling the forms in due to the threats of legal action. I never had another form sent to me again by the ONS.

    Leave a comment:


  • bogeyman
    replied
    Unlucky!

    The MIDSS is only sent to 30,000 businesses in the UK.

    You are one of them. The ONS will endlessly waste your time with this crap regardless of your ability to complete their forms.

    Currently, compliance costs are £3.87M to the businesses and £2M to govt.

    Money well spent I'd say

    Leave a comment:


  • Cyberman
    replied
    Originally posted by zeitghost
    Make the numbers up.


    Why not ?!! They do on everything else !!

    Leave a comment:


  • Xenophon
    replied
    Originally posted by zeitghost
    Make the numbers up.

    Leave a comment:


  • Pickle2
    replied
    How public spirited of you. Britain needs more like you.

    Leave a comment:


  • Xenophon
    replied
    Never been sent one.

    Leave a comment:


  • Monthly inquiry into the distribution and services sector

    How many people get the above form to fill in every month from the Office for National Statistics? I've just started getting them, and must admit that I resent having to fill them out. I don't see why I should be an unpaid stats collector for the government. I particularly dislike that if you don't return them within a couple of days that you get letters threatening fines and legal action. I tend to spend significant periods away from home base and can't arrange my life around these damn things.mad

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