Reply to: Business trip to USA - advice please

[expat]

The easiest thing is to be honest - I used to tell them that I was heading over there to teach a bunch of redneck fvckwitts how to do their jobs properly before the Indians took them all away.

LOL

[Diver]

I bet you've had your backside intimately examined though.

That was at the hotel after leaving the airport

[dmini]

I'm just glad that I dont understand what you are talking about - cos I'm way to innocent.
And no I dont want it explaining!

[HairyArsedBloke]

I bet you've had your backside intimately examined though.

Luuuuuuuv it.

Ah, that reminds me. Dmini, be careful with the ‘toys’ you pack.

[Moscow Mule]

I bet you've had your backside intimately examined though.

Don't ask, don't tell.

[sasguru]

This is all true.

However, I’ve never had any trouble flying to the US or Caribbean, but I’m a white, middle-aged, English Businessman with a gold frequent flyer card travelling first or business class.

I bet you've had your backside intimately examined though.

[HairyArsedBloke]

The beggars nearly put me on the first plane home. If you show your teeth it will be taken as a sign of aggression. They really don't have any sort of sense of humour. They put you in a little glass cubicle. Any olive tones will get you a free holiday in Cuba. An intimate inspection of your backside is de rigeur.

This is all true.

However, I’ve never had any trouble flying to the US or Caribbean, but I’m a white, middle-aged, English Businessman with a gold frequent flyer card travelling first or business class.

[TimberWolf]

What I have learnt about going to the USA

The beggars nearly put me on the first plane home. If you show your teeth it will be taken as a sign of aggression. They really don't have any sort of sense of humour. They put you in a little glass cubicle. Any olive tones will get you a free holiday in Cuba. An intimate inspection of your backside is de rigeur.

[BoredBloke]

The easiest thing is to be honest - I used to tell them that I was heading over there to teach a bunch of redneck fvckwitts how to do their jobs properly before the Indians took them all away.

[dmini]

chapette - as in "female travelling on her own"

[HairyArsedBloke]

Are you a chap or a chapette? Chapettes travelling on their own have more trouble than they did before.

[darmstadt]

The last time I went I told them I was working at IBM for a couple of weeks. All I got was the sarky comment, "IBM, didn't even know they still existed." Maybe he should have looked at the manufacturer of the screen he was using, diptulip. I've either said meetings or conferences, oh, and I refuse to take my shoes off as well. You get through customs much quicker that way as they put you in a little glass cubicle, take a swab and send you on your way while everyone else is trying to find their shoes or gagging at the whiff...

[Diver]

Just tell them you're delivering a Laptop for an Iranian friend

[dmini]

I'll be there just under 2 weeks
I'm not sure the holiday idea would work well anyway - female on her own travelling to non-major holiday destination (and I'm not that good at lying anyway)

[Zippy]

Tell them that you really need to get through customs quickly as you don't know how long you have till your shoes blow up. That should get you through the gate pretty quickly. They really don't have any sort of sense of humour.

I used to do the meetings thing.

Rawhide!