Reply to: This guy at work makes me laugh

[WotNxt]

Why am I reminded of this scene from the movie Fight Club?

Richard Chesler: [Reading a piece of paper] The first rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club?
Narrator: [Voice-over] I'm half asleep again; I must've left the original in the copy machine.
Richard Chesler: The second rule of Fight Club - is this yours?
Narrator: Huh?
Richard Chesler: Pretend you're me, make a managerial decision: you find this, what would you do?
Narrator: [pauses] Well, I gotta tell you: I'd be very, very careful who you talk to about that, because the person who wrote that... is dangerous.
[Gets up from the chair]
Narrator: [Talking slowly] And this button-down, Oxford-cloth psycho might just snap, and then stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers. This might be someone you've known for years. Someone very, very close to you.
Narrator: [Voice-over] Tyler's words coming out of my mouth.
[Snatches the piece of paper from boss' hands]
Narrator: [Voice-over] And I used to be such a nice guy.
Narrator: Or maybe you shouldn't bring me every little piece of trash you happen to pick up.
[Phone rings]
Narrator: [Into phone] Compliance and Liability...?
Marla Singer: My tit's gonna rot off.
Narrator: [to boss] Would you excuse me? I need to take this.

[daviejones]

Then I think you are on your on. I am sooo with SueEllen.

On my on? I find his posts more entertaining than the endless immigration \ house price posts.

[Lucy]

I sit opposite these two saddos at work. One of the drives a focus and smells of wee, the other is a skoda-driving geek with a hairpiece like a brillo pad. They obviously fancy each other, but the geek is playing hard to get

[bogeyman]

Wilmslow you know you can write a blog.

This enables people who are interested ,no one on CUK mind, to read your goings on.

Good point Sue.

I think http://twitter.com/ might be even better for him.

I have a plan to run a server farm full of AI bots that will act as 'virtual friends' to Twitter users and express a great interest in the every detail of their non-lives.

Wilmslow: I had a blueberry muffin for breakfast - yum!

AI Bot: Hey! That's Great!

Wilmslow: I had a huge dump!

AI Bot: Hey! That's Great! Any muffin currants come out?

[BrilloPad]

Brillo – I actually wrote this waiting for your usual high calibre reply – I am feeling so entertained that I forgot about my cold for a couple of seconds! It is the way you write them…..

ohhh - nice irony. Your trolling is geeting better - I am sure you will reach Chico standards soon.

[alreadypacked]

He probably doesn't talk to contractor filth. Wait until permiedom starts next week Wilmslow and you'll be best mates by lunchtime.

[EternalOptimist]

I sit opposite these two saddos at work. One of the drives a focus and smells of wee, the other is a skoda-driving geek with a hairpiece like a brillo pad. They obviously fancy each other, but the geek is playing hard to get

[Wilmslow]

He probably doesn't talk to contractor filth. Wait until permiedom starts next week Wilmslow and you'll be best mates by lunchtime.

Now, that is a scary thought. He will be hounding me, asking me to join him on company day trips. Oh no, what am I doing??? Before I know it I will be wearing a company poly tie as well. Must move desks…….

[BrilloPad]

Why do you feel the need to speak for everyone, or assume that you know what we want or do not want?

Then I think you are on your on. I am sooo with SueEllen.

[moorfield]

He probably doesn't talk to contractor filth. Wait until permiedom starts next week Wilmslow and you'll be best mates by lunchtime.

[Wilmslow]

Yeah - the guy sitting next to me is a total moron. He keeps trying to talk to me - I keep ignoring him but he will not get the message.

I am a good company man - he thinks he is but he does not even have a company tie.

He reckons his Focus is great - he doesn't realize it is no better than my Skoda.

Most of the people here are boring - but this person out-bores them all!

Last week I pissed all over his shoes in the gents - he just ran away.

What a loser.

Brillo – I actually wrote this waiting for your usual high calibre reply – I am feeling so entertained that I forgot about my cold for a couple of seconds! It is the way you write them…..

[Jog On]

He sits next to me. I say ‘Good Morning’ – he ignores me.

We seem to arrive at the same time in the car park – makes my Focus look like a supercar as he has a T reg Skoda, always immaculately polished. I proffer a friendly wave – he completely ignores me.

He waits until I get out of the car and walk to the office – today I spent longer enjoying a song on the radio, hence he bolted – I soon caught up with him, he looked right through me.

Once at the desks, I offer a friendly good morning. He pretends I don’t exist.

He wears a company tie – best polyester, of course. Personality of a brick.

End of the day – I wave goodbye. I may as well be waving to a corpse.

Appears to have chips on his shoulder, as well as his stomach.

Looks like a good contender for a new series of The Office.

I am sooo not bothered. I just find him very entertaining and enjoy expecting nothing back from a friendly hello.

Anyone else got one of those office pets?

Try grabbing him by the arm next time

[daviejones]

Wilmslow you know you can write a blog.

This enables people who are interested ,no one on CUK mind, to read your goings on.

Why do you feel the need to speak for everyone, or assume that you know what we want or do not want?

[SueEllen]

Wilmslow you know you can write a blog.

This enables people who are interested ,no one on CUK mind, to read your goings on.

[BrilloPad]

Yeah - the guy sitting next to me is a total moron. He keeps trying to talk to me - I keep ignoring him but he will not get the message.

I am a good company man - he thinks he is but he does not even have a company tie.

He reckons his Focus is great - he doesn't realize it is no better than my Skoda.

Most of the people here are boring - but this person out-bores them all!

Last week I pissed all over his shoes in the gents - he just ran away.

What a loser.