Reply to: Amusing things people say at work

[BoredBloke]

I worked at a place where there was this guy who was a big folower of the Labour party - he gave a percentage of his salary to them. Somebody had been winding him up about this as he often used to come to work wearing his red labour tie. There were coments along the lines of him having Labour gruds on. To prove he didn't he stood up and dropped his pants - but didn't realise that his boxers were open - and out he fell in the middle of the office.

[Diver]

Isn't it about time you made the tea.

[smiff]

Not quite funny, but in my team meeting this week one my colleagues (Big, bearded, socially inept but clever server dude) decided to share that he'd been sacked by his last company for downloading porn. And that he almost got kicked out of the army for selling porn.]

Got any links?

[snaw]

Not quite funny, but in my team meeting this week one my colleagues (Big, bearded, socially inept but clever server dude) decided to share that he'd been sacked by his last company for downloading porn. And that he almost got kicked out of the army for selling porn.]

He doesn't drink either, makes you wonder what he would admit too after a few beers ...

[HYpno27]

I know it's Friday afternoon, but I'd be really grateful if you could just review this 200 page report for me before you go

[TheFaQQer]

www.kiva.org

Go here, provide microcredit, it will make you feel good, I promise

No governments, no aid agencies making money out of it, and it's not aid, it's a loan to people with hope.

[moorfield]

My late father used to keep a book of these at work - the ones I remember were

"If I died tomorrow I couldn't grumble"

"We were in this valley, with hills all round"

and

"There's a lot of people dying who never used to"

My mate once wrote on the bottom of a paper memo (when we still used to do those) "If anything in this is not clear, please hesitate to contact me" The recipient rang him and he said "you haven't read the bottom of the memo, have you?"

A little off topic but my gran has a habit of saying "Oooh, they're funny numbers" when her lottery numbers never come up.

[Lucy]

"I don't see why we have to bother with all of this governance rubbish"

or

"I don't like working very much so you will be doing most of my work"

[Peoplesoft bloke]

"some very big owners are family friends, Im talking sunday times rich list."

[tay]

"I spent £2000 on this suit"

[Peoplesoft bloke]

My late father used to keep a book of these at work - the ones I remember were

"If I died tomorrow I couldn't grumble"

"We were in this valley, with hills all round"

and

"There's a lot of people dying who never used to"

My mate once wrote on the bottom of a paper memo (when we still used to do those) "If anything in this is not clear, please hesitate to contact me" The recipient rang him and he said "you haven't read the bottom of the memo, have you?"

[HYpno27]

Pretty much anything that comes out of the mouth of the main Client Co's It Director, at the minute

Especially as the company is being merged, and as we know, nobody needs 2 IT directors

[Diver]

"All this bending over is a real pain in the a*se"

One of my site staff, marking out deck ready for cutting by the burners.

quickly followed by:

"I'm sick and tired of getting all the bending jobs for you blokes"

Twenty minutes before any of us were capable of working

He has never lived it down

[DiscoStu]

Lazy permie yesterday to equally workshy colleague, with a whining tone.

"I actually had to reply to 5 or 6 emails today"

An arduous task indeed.

Do you work with Wilmslow?

Edit: Actually you probably don't, he'd have started a thread complaining about how many e-mails he'd had and asking for advice on how to reply...

[smiff]

Lazy permie yesterday to equally workshy colleague, with a whining tone.

"I actually had to reply to 5 or 6 emails today"

An arduous task indeed.