Reply to: Oh Dear (TM) - Turned down my extension

[WageSlave]

They've fudged the figures so much they've done it wrong and when the audit comes. They're screwed. Got to laugh.

If only that turned out to be true, MF. Unfortunately auditors are so keen to retain (and extend) their contracts that they will never say anything unpleasant to the client. Example? Andersen auditing Enron. Would have thought they'd detect something a little fishy in the reports!
Similar situation with my current client. I had to arrange a meeting with the head auditor (part of their name sounds like an American bottom) to ask him what the hell they were playing at, giving a 'satisfactory' pass to to clearly unacceptable processes.

[MarillionFan]

So there we go

Tomorrow is my last day(?).

The saga continues and some of the bullying has attempted to come my way. A lovely email 'WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING?" - after the newly agreed, fudged, manually messed around reports went out and the client shouts THEYRE ALL WRONG and escalates it up and away.

I am in with the head of the Quango and head of the consultancy tomorrow to discuss this latest balls up.

But ah!! Firstly I am out of contract and none of them realise I am a contractor. In fact they all think I am quite senior. And why is that? Well it is because I have taken ownership where no-one else has, where all are to scared to tread.

So it all ends horribly tomorrow. Me as a scapegoat perhaps? or me sticking them one on the way out? or me telling them what a bunch of political waste of spaces they are?

Oh and by the way, before you are wondering, the reason the stuff is wrong is because it isnt. They've fudged the figures so much they've done it wrong and when the audit comes. They're screwed. Got to laugh.

[DodgyAgent]

Read all quotes

Dodgy, please read all the posts and then revise your comments

Sorry Wagey but if the cap fits wear it, otherwise ignore me

[WageSlave]

This thread quite appalls me. You lot are basically gloating over how you are going to make life difficult for the people who are paying you. Fine I accept that one can be cynical about those who you are working with and for, but to turn such cynicism into creating physical mayhem is disgusting.

At least builders have money held back in case they turn out poor work or ignore the customer, and at least Indian software houses (as well as EDS) have contracts that tie suppliers to delivering work.

You spoilt little prima donnas who expect to be paid large fortunes without taking any responsibility for your work, frankly deserve to be slapped with IR35 legislation.

Dodgy, please read all the posts and then revise your comments

[Ardesco]

And there was me thinking this thread was about MF not wanting to supply a crock of sh*te to the end customer.

Oh well

[DodgyAgent]

Why people hate contractors

This thread quite appalls me. You lot are basically gloating over how you are going to make life difficult for the people who are paying you. Fine I accept that one can be cynical about those who you are working with and for, but to turn such cynicism into creating physical mayhem is disgusting.

At least builders have money held back in case they turn out poor work or ignore the customer, and at least Indian software houses (as well as EDS) have contracts that tie suppliers to delivering work.

You spoilt little prima donnas who expect to be paid large fortunes without taking any responsibility for your work, frankly deserve to be slapped with IR35 legislation.

[MarillionFan]

Oh yeah sorry.

Sandy. I forget.

Yeh plan b has not been so good lately. So i decided to sell a Buy to Let property which I bought back in 1998. Plan C shall we call it.

Dont really give that much of a monkeys about Plan A these days as I get 24k take home a year off basic investments.

[SandyDown]

heh

I enjoy delivering work. Im good at it.
If i enjoy the work Im not bothered what I get paid.
You could offer me £1000 a day and if I didnt like the work I wouldnt do it.

I dont need to work for money, I do it cause I like it.

Simple.

heh MF.. who are you trying to kid , I still remember your post about your plan B business and how it is in deep trouble and deeeeeeep debt... if you don't care about what you get paid, then why not go permie??

My feelings is there is a bit more to it than you are telling us ..

[MarillionFan]

Good at what I do

I enjoy delivering work. Im good at it.
If i enjoy the work Im not bothered what I get paid.
You could offer me £1000 a day and if I didnt like the work I wouldnt do it.

I dont need to work for money, I do it cause I like it.

Simple.

[insight14]

Money's not everything to everybody. Another contractor once told me that he'd cut bricks in half all day long if it paid him £500/day. Not me, I think I'd rather be producing quality, meaningful work in a good environment, doing something I enjoy. If all you've got to look forward to is your paycheck after a week of hell, you're probably not enjoying life very much.

Some might think it unprofessional to take pleasure from the knowledge that you'll be sorely missed. I see it as a failure by management to a) sort things out with you ahead of your contract expiry, and b) mitigate the risk of you leaving by getting a handover done in plenty of time.

[Rebecca Loos]

Aaaah... you give us contractors a bad name!

What? Giving up just because you don't like to be used? For £600 a day? What next? Ask for training, a permanent desk, a landline phone, fixed hours? Be careful, it's a slippery slope that leads to dreaming of becoming a permie!!!!

[MarillionFan]

May Happen

Its not worth it. The whole issue is a political football, the client this, us that.

Its not worth it. I am probably in a position to screw them over for 5/600 a day if I choose, but having got in at 10 O Clock last night and getting no replies to the automated system you are assume its ok.

Only to see it being used as a football by the top of both sides because it doesnt match what they did themselves (which is wrong).

So balls to them, just said my contract finishes on Friday - and stuff their two week handover I am off.

Ahhhhhhh. Not a single person to take over.

[Rebecca Loos]

I am with Sandy on this. MF, this is a glorious business opportunity for you. Bump up your rate, and devise mechanims that will make the clueless consultants look really bad when talking to the client, whereas you will look like the saviour. Given the technical knowledge of many consultants, it shouldn't be hard.

I did this once. I was working with a really annoying BA who kept criticising everything. So when he asked me how long it would take to produce some reports, I told him 2 weeks. I knew we would both then go to a meeting with the management and that question would be raised. In the meeting, when the PM asked the BA how long to get those reports, he said 2 weeks. They didn't like it. I turned round and said "if you let me do it, I can do them in 3 days". I looked so good. He looked so bad. The BA was incandescent with rage. He came "for a word" after the meeting. I explained to him that I thought he asked me how long it would take him to do them.

There are lots of little things like that you can do when you have the real knowledge and all the consultants have is the bulltulip.

[WageSlave]

MF, from what you have said, the problem is clear.

The client wants to fudge data in order to look good. That's a fundamental issue. Senior management needs to understand that their decisions are only as sound as the validity of their management intelligence. A 'good news' culture is to be avoided, as it makes it impossible to effectively manage the business.

I doubt your consultancy would be interested in resolving the real issue. Too likely to upset the client. Instead it's much easier to fleece them with some dodgy technology that they will probably never use effectively.

[SandyDown]

business

MF, am thinking why don't you stay there, and screw Lolyca same way they are screwing the client ... it'll be fun really, first ask for double rate, then whenever idiot asks you a question tell them the completely wrong answer but in a clever way that can be turned on them, and when they go all smug to the client telling them such answers and they get egg on their faces, you come to the rescue , afterwards tell the idionts aaaahhhhh you were asking about thaaaat I thought you meant something else ..teeeheee it'll be so much fun .... and in the same time make loads of money