Reply to: Useless bloke's guide to Valentines Day

[MrRobin]

I've just learnt that the missus has booked a hotel for us on saturday night... tulipe, i better get something good now.....

[Tensai]

So, basically going for the "sympathy f**k"?

DURRRR..... and your point is.....?

[oracleslave]

BTW, Is your missus attracted to retarded 6-year olds, then?

Why, are you looking for a girlfriend?

Yep the 'useless bloke' thread is perfect for you two.

[Bod]

If you need a short-notice gift, how about a nice card containing a £150 Vidal Sassoon voucher.

That should keep a smile on your face for oh.... three days or so.

[Churchill]

So, basically going for the "sympathy f**k"?

BTW, Is your missus attracted to retarded 6-year olds, then?

Why, are you looking for a girlfriend?

[wobbegong]

Tried this once in desperation - DIY chocolate strawberries, on a plate, stuck in the fridge overnight. The trick is to make it look like a retarded 6-year old has done it (lumpy chocolate, mouldy strawberries) so you get the "Awwwww.... how cute.... you tried SO hard!" reaction.

Plus champagne if you're feeling flush.

HTH

So, basically going for the "sympathy f**k"?

BTW, Is your missus attracted to retarded 6-year olds, then?

[Tensai]

Tried this once in desperation - DIY chocolate strawberries, on a plate, stuck in the fridge overnight. The trick is to make it look like a retarded 6-year old has done it (lumpy chocolate, mouldy strawberries) so you get the "Awwwww.... how cute.... you tried SO hard!" reaction.

Plus champagne if you're feeling flush.

HTH

[wobbegong]

FFS, man! How long does it take to draw a heart, colour it in, and write "I love you" in fancy writing?????

Cheers FaQQer! Now I have Chicken noodle cup-a-soup on my keyboard.

[KathyWoolfe]

Face it, you've missed your chance to buy anything decent by now. Get down to the bargain card shop, buy her something nice for nothing more than 60p.

Get down to knickerbox and some edible boxers for you - stick 'em on and suggest "get your laughing gear round this one, love" on Thursday night.

I guarantee that you will not be worrying about Valentines for a while!

But you might be worrying about how long it will be before your multiple fractures heal.

[TheFaQQer]

Erk - somewhat tight timescales there. Good suggestion, question is, what to paint/draw. I suppose I could combine a few of the above - cook a really nice meal, ask her to model for a painting, or something like that. The painting may not get finished though.

She hates all the commercial rubbish surrounding Valentines Day, so something different like that might be nice.

FFS, man! How long does it take to draw a heart, colour it in, and write "I love you" in fancy writing?????

[KathyWoolfe]

Funniest post I've read in a long time! Excellent!

You should get out more!

[BA to the Stars]

I might get Mrs BA a new bag and belt










Then the vac will work a treat

[realityhack]

RH, you're a bit tasty with the paintbrush as I recall. How about a piece of artwork and/or a heartfelt message/poem? Something that takes time and effort to create, and comes from the heart says infinitely more that a mass produced shop-bought trinket.

Erk - somewhat tight timescales there. Good suggestion, question is, what to paint/draw. I suppose I could combine a few of the above - cook a really nice meal, ask her to model for a painting, or something like that. The painting may not get finished though.

She hates all the commercial rubbish surrounding Valentines Day, so something different like that might be nice.

[TheFaQQer]

Agreed - something handmade gets more kudos.

Even if you're not handy with a paintbrush (for the other useless blokes out there), girlies love that kind of thing. Any idiot can go out and spend money, this takes time and devotion.

[wobbegong]

RH, you're a bit tasty with the paintbrush as I recall. How about a piece of artwork and/or a heartfelt message/poem? Something that takes time and effort to create, and comes from the heart says infinitely more that a mass produced shop-bought trinket.