Reply to: Smelly others in office

[EternalOptimist]

Hope he blasts himself into a low orbit

[TimberWolf]

Follow him around with a piezo electric sparker, on the end of a long stick. Or invent one that sparks when methane's detected and attach to the underside of his chair. Don't forget to put a warning label on his backside (preferably where it will not get burnt) instructing others to stay well clear.

[Board Game Geek]

You must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by
And when two lovers woo
They still say, "I love you"
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings
As time goes by
Moonlight and love songs
Never out of date
Hearts full of passion
Jealousy and hate
Woman needs man
And man must have his mate
That no one can deny
it's still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by
-----------------
Moonlight and love songs
Never out of date
Hearts full of passion
Jealousy and hate
Woman needs man
And man must have his mate
That no one can deny
it's still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by

[BrilloPad]

Stop being so sensitive.

A fart is just a fart.

a sigh is just a sigh.

[BrilloPad]

Leave him alone. hopefully someone else will sort it out.

[Archangel]

Stop being so sensitive.

A fart is just a fart.

[PAH]

I've still got some somewhere... the proper 'Enry stuff at that.

Yeah I once tried splashing it all over. My bell-end stung for hours. Gave me an idea of what chilli-burn must be like.

[PAH]

Tell him he needs to reexamine his diet.... it seems he is eating stuff that don't agree with his system..

Exactly my reason for avoiding those nasty green foods. Yeah them might add 10 or 20 years onto my life, but at least I don't suffer from gastric lapses.

[ladymuck]

Keep a can of air freshener to hand and give it a squirt every time he trumps. To make it more effective, point the nozzle towards his face and flick a lighter in front of it while depressing the button.

[SandyDown]

Tell him he needs to reexamine his diet.... it seems he is eating stuff that don't agree with his system..

[Wilmslow]

Don't do anything anonomously - either ignore, or have a chat in private with the guy!

As a contractor you cannot rock the boat if worried about an extension.....

[PAH]

You could leave a packet of charcoal biscuits on his desk with a postIT saying "They work for my dog, why don't you try them?".

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-are-charcoal-biscuits.htm

Or to save money, buy anything from the staff canteen. It seems they're required to burn a larger proportion of the food to comply with the laws on multiculturalism.

Shame there's not many naturally black foods, apart from black pudding.

[hyperD]

You could leave a packet of charcoal biscuits on his desk with a postIT saying "They work for my dog, why don't you try them?".

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-are-charcoal-biscuits.htm

[PAH]

I would recommend taking up smoking. I am a heavy smoker and therefore cannot smell or taste anything.

The last time I gave up, after a couple of weeks I found the stench of other people when I took the tube in the morning to be truly disgusting.

So I had to start smoking again.

There are similar complaints about pubs and clubs now there's the smoking ban. Apparently you can smell the loos, which are typically overflowing on a saturday night, and the sweat on the dancefloor.

[PAH]

Another cure for the sense of smell is to chat up some bit of skirt in a nightclub and wait to get atwatted by her boyfriend and his 4 friends.

Worked for me when I was 18. I could be swimming in piss and not smell a thing (handy for later in life). Brut is still fashionable isn't it?