Squirrel Wars

[Bear]

Yep, sorry about that one AtW, but none of our Ninja squirrels could be bothered to get involved - mostly because your nuts come with 'strings attached', and we're not going anywhere near them.

[realityhack]

Yep, sorry about that one AtW, but none of our Ninja squirrels could be bothered to get involved - mostly because your nuts come with 'strings attached', and we're not going anywhere near them.

[EternalOptimist]

It was wet summer morning in the year of our lord 1815 that the fate of nations was decided on the field of Waterlogged. Defending the road to Watership down was the army of the Red quirrels under the command of ‘The iron duke’ AtW. Facing them, and determined to sweep them into history, was the massive army of greys led by the famous Napoleon Optimist.

The thin red line was deployed along a low ridge protected by a sunken rabbit track, with a fortress on the right called HugeOak, and a smaller obstacle in the center known as La Hay. The most vulnerable part of the line was the fortress, because it would be first to be attacked and easily surrounded, ‘Don’t worry’ said the iron duke, ‘I have put kernal Nutty in charge there’

The attack began at 11:30, as soon as the mud had dried a bit, A massive barrage of hazelnuts raining down on the center of the red squirrels line. The red squirrels responded by sitting tight and hunkering down behind the ridge. ‘This red squirrel fights by sitting on his @rse’ thought Napoleon Optimist.
At 12:15 twenty battalions of grey squirrel infantry ascended the slope and made for the centre of the red line, which was shaken by the hazlenut barrage. Suddenly , on their flank appeared four regiments of Scots reds mounted on fierce attack rats. They tore into the greys and sent them reeling but foolishly persued and attacked the hazlenut throwers, not many of them got back.

Napoleon Optimist now committed his crack armoured grey currassiers. Mounted on hedgehogs, they were slow but deadly, they attacked in wave after wave but failed to destroy the reds who had formed into squirrel squares.

The battle now entered a quiet phase, it could go either way and the Optimist had only one more card to play, The Imperial squirrel guard.
These were the finest fighting squirrels in the world, eight battalions of Old squirrels, eight of middle squirrels and eight of young squirrels, fifteen thousand balls of spitting rodent fury.
They attacked in squirrel column, to the left of centre, up the slope at the run. But, unbeknown they headed straight for the red guard who were well placed to meet them, hiding behind the ridge and laying down to avoid hazlenut shells.
As the Imperial guard approached, the Iron duke, AtW, gave the order, ‘Up red guards and at em’
But they couldn’t stem the grey tide, the battle was lost, the reds days were numbered.
(If it had been humans, historians speculate a different result, but who knows)