NEW DISCOVERY IN THE WORLD OF SCIENCE
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of
the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been
tentatively named "Administratium".
Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy
neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic
mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force
called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of
lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it
can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it
comes into contact.
A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take
over 4 days to complete when it would normally take only a
few minutes. Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years;
it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization,
in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons
and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places, and additional
peons are added.
In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase over time,
since each reorganization causes some morons to become
neutrons forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to
speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain
quantity in concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."
You will know it when you see it...
