Reply to: Joys of being a parent!

[TheFaQQer]

Just buy a chastity belt. That should solve the problem.

Part of me says that I'm looking forward to intimidating boyfriends when my girls get to that age (as my now father-in-law did to me). Part of me says that I'm absolutely petrified about the thought of boyfriends.

Hopefully, I've got some years to go yet - they're 4 and 15 months. Mind you, they're both pretty flirty so I can see the need to get a beating stick.

[WindyAnna]

I modified that becuase it looked like encouraging her, obviously 14 year old mums are very common in this country though

"The talk" is important. Getting her to understand that it is okay to say "no" or to say "yes" on her terms is the difficult bit ...

Teenage boys quotes from my mis-spent youth ... "I can't use them, they're too small" (yeah, right), "I can't feel anything with one of them on", "It'll make you sore if I use one so it's better for you without", "I'm allergic to rubber" and all the usual "you can't get pregnant the first time/standing up", "I'll stop if you don't like it". AAARGH teenage boys - quick check with step-daughter inidcates all of the above still in circulation 20 years on.

[Bagpuss]

Yeah and wish her good luck on getting a teenage lad to use 'em!

I modified that becuase it looked like encouraging her, obviously 14 year old mums are very common in this country though

[SallyAnne]

Of course you can answer the question but until you have kids of your own you can only *assume* how you will handle such a situation. Nothing prepares you for how much having kids can change you.

He asked what the best approach would be - I answered as a daughter.

[WindyAnna]

The best thing you can do is buy her some condoms

Yeah and wish her good luck on getting a teenage lad to use 'em!

[Bagpuss]

The best thing you can do is make sure she's not going to become a teenage mother, i.e. have the talk

[WindyAnna]

Oh here we go again...the "only parents understand" brigade.

No I'm not a parent, but I'm a daughter. And I've been a teenage daughter with a dad who had to deal with me. Doesn't that qualify me for answerring this question like?

Yeah SA but what you can never understand is the absolute emotional hold that a child has on you once you are a parent. I would've agreed with you before I became a parent, even had the step-daughter so thought I understood but once you have your own the gut wrenching feelings you get about them are akin to nothing else.

Doesn't mean your view as a daughter who has been a teenage girl isn't valid tho'.

Also being a teenage girl is a whole new world in last few years with t'internet and all that. Also culture is different - I thought caned the fags and booze when I was 15 but I'm nowt compared to some of my step-daughter's peers!! They seem to do less drugs than we did though - weird, I thought that was on the rise.

[Chugnut]

Oh here we go again...the "only parents understand" brigade.

No I'm not a parent, but I'm a daughter. And I've been a teenage daughter with a dad who had to deal with me. Doesn't that qualify me for answerring this question like?

Of course you can answer the question but until you have kids of your own you can only *assume* how you will handle such a situation. Nothing prepares you for how much having kids can change you.

[Fran]

My daughter is now 15 months and we recently caught her kissing a 15 month old boy at nursery. I was incensed and burnt down both the nursery and the boys parents house.

I've told her shes going nowhere now until she's as lease 30 months.

Damn right, my daughters are 1 and 4, got to keep an eye on those pesky boys.


On a serious note, I'm dreading teenage years big style!

[BoredBloke]

MSN logs all the chats. I've told my daughter this and said that I will check them if I think I need to - if she deletes them, then I'll block her MSN on the router. Put bluntly, she is using one of my computers and and the internet I pay for. I trust her not to abuse it, but if I feel the need to check then I will. I have checked it a couple of times and it is pretty shocking what they say, but then it's how kids talk to each other.

[SallyAnne]

Anyway - I sat her down in my study and asked in a calm and rational manner her what the phrase "suck my knob" meant to her(

Erm...forget everything I said. The lass is scared for life now, and will never tell you a thing from this point onward.

Happy empty relationship!

[SallyAnne]

Benny, its your duty as a parent to look out for your kids, if you had to look into their computer or diary then so be it, just don't get caught doing it

Also take any non-parents advise with a pinch of salt, people are quite wise when their own hands is not in the fire like yours.

thunderlizard: can you be my friend ? I need a friend like you

Oh here we go again...the "only parents understand" brigade.

No I'm not a parent, but I'm a daughter. And I've been a teenage daughter with a dad who had to deal with me. Doesn't that qualify me for answerring this question like?

[daviejones]

Just discovered that my 14-year-old daughter was seen playing tonsil tennis with a youth in centre of town yesterday while supposedly out with her friends.

Also a quick examination of her PC reveals a BeBo home page with very unsuitable slogan, and an email exchange with another using very very colourful language.



What to do? Should I come down hard on her or just accept that daddy’s little girl is growing up.

Has anyone else been though this tulip or similar? to the female posters on the board what would be the best approach?
Wifey is leaving it to me to be the disciplinarian, sometimes wish we'd just had boys!

A line from a Pink Floyd song springs to mind:

If they catch you in the back seat trying to pick her locks
They're gonna send you home to momma in a cardboard box...

HTH

[MarillionFan]

My daughter is now 15 months and we recently caught her kissing a 15 month old boy at nursery. I was incensed and burnt down both the nursery and the boys parents house.

I've told her shes going nowhere now until she's as lease 30 months.

[DBA_bloke]

Anyway - I sat her down in my study and asked in a calm and rational manner her what the phrase "suck my knob" meant to her

You have, I suggest, stepped way, way over the line, and gone a bit nutty. I can understand your POV, but...

Imagine reading that a father had sat his daughter down in his study and asked her what the phrase "suck my knob" meant to her. What would you think?

I am not suggesting you have done anything "horrible", but watch it, FFS, these things can escalate into horror stories of accusations, denials, etc.