Reply to: Best lie you've ever fobbed the users off with???

[TheFaQQer]

It must have been something the last contractor did. It'll take me an extra 3 months to sort it out.

I like that one! It's up there with a builder's

'oo put this in then? 'kin cowboys - it'll all have to come out.

[PRC1964]

It must have been something the last contractor did. It'll take me an extra 3 months to sort it out.

[Moscow Mule]

Truth:
Some twunt with far too much access to the live machine noticed we were running a little over 90% on system storage. Decided to run RCLSTG command which them bought the system to it's knees, with users unable to sign in and the interactive subsystem crapping out on a regular basis.

Lies told to users:
We don't know what's happening, but the machine is running really slow today. We've called IBM and they're looking into it. Try not to log out as you may not get back in again.

[milanbenes]

LOL

nice one

Milan.

[Ardesco]

I find an easy excuse, and an old chestnut, is simply to:

blame the networking team !!

always works

poor old networking team get blamed for everything !

Milan.

BigBoss: Why wasn't the backup tape changed yesterday??

Milan: Ermm it's the network teams fault!!!!!!!

BigBoss: *sigh* we've been through this before Milan, if you forget tonight i'll have to let you go.....

[milanbenes]

I find an easy excuse, and an old chestnut, is simply to:

blame the networking team !!

always works

poor old networking team get blamed for everything !

Milan.

[Buffoon]

One of my clients was told by his IT department’s helpdesk that the reason why his stuff that is produced overnight wasn’t available yesterday morning when he got in was because "the high market volatility was slowing down the computers".

[Ardesco]

I must agree, just get techier and techier until thier eyes glaze over and they start nodding and going err yup.

[richard-af]

The trick is to overload their minds with techno crap. Often shuts them up.

[TheFaQQer]

Yes ... "You can't get it working because you are a c***."

That doesn't sound like a lie to me!

[wendigo100]

Anyone ever come up with anything creative to pull the wool over innocent user type eyes??

Assume saying "it's too technical, you won't understand", or just jabbering technical bollox is a given...

Yes ... "You can't get it working because you are a c***."

[SandyDown]

I bet you come into the office at 8am after 12 hours sleep, smiling and happy "enjoying" the morning as well?

While the rest of us grimace from too much booze and 4 hours sleep

Whatever !!

[Muttley08]

Never am too honest, too good, too real for all this, am practically perfect in every way.


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Mary Poppins

I bet you come into the office at 8am after 12 hours sleep, smiling and happy "enjoying" the morning as well?

While the rest of us grimace from too much booze and 4 hours sleep

[Diver]

It's a Harware problem that's causing parsing errors. only way to correct the problem is a complete upgrade

[SandyDown]

Anyone ever come up with anything creative to pull the wool over innocent user type eyes??

Assume saying "it's too technical, you won't understand", or just jabbering technical bollox is a given...

Never am too honest, too good, too real for all this, am practically perfect in every way.


----------------

Mary Poppins