Reply to: Nurses on Strike

[EternalOptimist]

My missus runs a team of nurses in Manchester, some of the tales she tells me would make my hair curl if I had any. They are supposed to work in a 'no blame culture' in order for people to learn from mistakes, but they consistantly have to tell porkies to patients and families in order to avoid litigation and in order to maintain the public perception that the NHS is good and that nurses care.
I told my missus that if I ever fall ill she should get a gun and shoot me.

[Let-Me-In]

do they call that a blow job?

My missus would love it if it could go to twice it's size...lolol

[TheRightStuff]

I hate when the NHS blow up patients...

do they call that a blow job?

[Let-Me-In]

Patients are blew up twice the size.

I hate when the NHS blow up patients...

[Kyajae]

That why it's called the NHS - No Hope, Sunshine!

[NoddY]

Dead body left for twelve hours in the hot ward.

Good job I'm not dead!

[Paddy]

Bet you don't tell them that next time you need one.

That sentence sums it up. Too many nurses think that they are doing the public a favour. They are in fact being paid by us so they should do their f%^&*%$ job anyway. That is what is wrong with the NHS. Privatise the lot please.

There just a few incidents that have happened to myself and friends in the passed year.

Elderly patients routinely ignored by nurses.
Elderly patient soiled her bed, the nurse ignored the situation and waited three hours for the next tulip to clean up.
Dead body left for twelve hours in the hot ward.
Nurse messed up injecting into a vein and inject into the flesh. Patients are blew up twice the size.
Nurse saying that the doctor was wrong to give me a morphine drip because morphine is not a pain killer.
Nurses not giving medication on time and doubling the dose to make up. (Can be fatal)
Patient friend given 10 times the does of pain killer by the nurse measuring incorrectly. He collapsed on the way home.
Nurses empting bedpans and using the same gloves to administer tablets to patents mouths.
Nurse trying to discharge a patient from A&E opposite to doctors instructions.

[Troll]

Blimey
I was convinced John Le Mesurier batted for the other side

Hattie Jacques was married to the actor John Le Mesurier from 1949 to 1965. They had two sons. At the time of their divorce, the media were given the impression that the fault was on Le Mesurier's side. It was later revealed that Jacques had been having an affair with a younger man and had left her husband for him. Le Mesurier had gone along with the charade so as not to damage her career.

[Cooperinliverp00l]

Yes, but I am putting on weight so need a bigger one....can I borrow yours?

Sure i got a couple from a department store that specialise in the larger size so i have one in a size 18 and one in a size 22. Let me know which one you want.

p.s they have both been cleaned !!!!!

[Troll]

BTW - have we brought back matrons yet?

Hmmmm Hattie Jacques

[Old Greg]

Hi Tony. Hope the missus is OK.

BTW - have we brought back matrons yet?

Matrons were brought back in a few years ago.

[wendigo100]

Hi Tony. Hope the missus is OK.

BTW - have we brought back matrons yet?

[BoredBloke]

My wife is back in hospital at the moment. On her ward there are a few good nurses and a few rubbish ones. This is like most jobs really - however the rubbish ones can be dangerous.

If I was Gordon Brown I think I'd give them what they want though as they get a lot of sympathy in the general population. Not exactly a good bit of PR taking on the nurses.

[wendigo100]

I don't know what nurses are moaning about. Why, only last week Gordon Brown was boasting to Parliament about how he has more than doubled investment into the NHS over the past seven years.

How much more do they want? The whole of the UK's GDP?

"You have only 24 hours to save the National Health Service" - Blair, May 1997

[Let-Me-In]

Thought you already had one.

Yes, but I am putting on weight so need a bigger one....can I borrow yours?