Reply to: Friday Poetry Corner

[Burdock]

boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom

[Diver]

wan ker

The intellectual strain in coming up with this scathing riposte mut have been excruciating for you old boy.
Go and have a lay down

[Troll]

wan ker

[Diver]

Ahh Black adder... very good .... carry on

Prat

[Troll]

It's the start of Baldrick's poem about cannons. Coulcdn't be arsed to finish it...

Ahh Black adder... very good .... carry on

[Moscow Mule]

Is that Basil Brush or do you have some info you need to share with the security services?

It's the start of Baldrick's poem about cannons. Coulcdn't be arsed to finish it...

[Diver]

Abort Retry Ignore


Once upon a midnight dreary,
Fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
Longing for the warmth of bedsheets,
Still I sat here doing spreadsheets:
Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer.

Typing with a steady hand,
I then invoked the "save" command
But got instead a reprimand: it read, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
Was this some occult illusion?
Some manacal type intrusion?
These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before.

Carefully I weighed my options...
These three seemed to be the top ones.
Clearly I must now adopt one; choose: Abort, Retry, Ignore?
With my fingers pale and trembling
Slowly toward the keyboard bending,
Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored

Praying for some guarantee,
Finally I pressed a key.
But what on the screen did I see? Again "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
I tried to catch the chips off guard -
I pressed again, but twice as hard,
But luck was just not on the cards, I saw what I had seen before.

Now I typed in desperation
Trying random combinations.
Still there came the incantation "Abort, Retry, Ignore."
There I sat, distraught, exhausted,
By my own machine accosted
getting up, I turned away and paced across the office floor.

And then I saw an awful sight
A bold and blinding flash of light
A lightening bolt that cut the night, and shook me to my very core.
The PC screen collapsed and died.
"OH NO! MY DATABASE!" I cried.
I heard a distant voice reply, "You'll see your spreadsheets...nevermore!"

To this day I do not know
The place to which our data goes.
perhaps it goes to heaven, where the angels have it stored.
But as for Productivity, well,
I fear this has gone straight to Hell.
And that's the tale I have to tell - your choice: Abort, Retry, Ignore.

[Diver]

Yr oeddwn yn siŵr y gallwn gweithio'n fwy galed nag y myfyrwyr eraill ac yn gorchuddio'r ffaith y nad oedd fy Nghymraeg mor gryf â byddwn wedi hoffi. Ond yr oedd mwy nag yr oeddwn yn disgwyl.

It's about a dumb english boy who comes to the seaside in wales!

Didn't you say that you used to holiday in wales

[Troll]

Yr oeddwn yn siŵr y gallwn gweithio'n fwy galed nag y myfyrwyr eraill ac yn gorchuddio'r ffaith y nad oedd fy Nghymraeg mor gryf â byddwn wedi hoffi. Ond yr oedd mwy nag yr oeddwn yn disgwyl.

[Diver]

Scary... did you you have a date with Dolly tonight?

How did you kn..!

No I didn't right!

[Troll]

He said Boom not Bum
Stay out of this

Scary... did you you have a date with Dolly tonight?

[Diver]

Is that Basil Brush or do you have some info you need to share with the security services?

He said Boom not Bum
Stay out of this

[Troll]

BOOM Boom BOOOM

Is that Basil Brush or do you have some info you need to share with the security services?

[Moscow Mule]

BOOM Boom BOOOM

[Diver]

In the middle of the night,
in the part that’s known as “dead,”
I wake and hear the breathing
of the creature ’neath my bed.


Sometimes he growls and threatens me,
sometimes he only stares.
He’s big and mean and ugly,
and I shiver when he glares.


His B. O. fills the bedroom,
and his breath is awful, too.
His teeth are caked with ick and grime;
he should be in a zoo.


Instead, he lives beneath me—
it’s like rooming with a skunk.
The creature is el duder,
and he has the lower bunk.

Sorry el duder, you were the only one that fitted the bill