This is MOO...probably - A CUK Play

[Sysman]

Any more outrageous billing tales to recount?

I can't find the original story, which gave the name of the chap, but the essence of the tale is here:

"Once upon a time there was a steam generating plant that was not producing much steam. After a frustrating search for the cause, the plant manager, in desperation, called in an expert. After only two hours on site, the expert found the problem and placed “X’s” on two pipes that were causing the problem, saying that they had to be removed.

When presented with the bill, the plant manager asked the consultant how he could charge $5000 for only two hours of work. When he asked for an itemized bill, this is what he got:

1. Placing crosses on two pipes          $   400
2. Knowing where to place the crosses    $  4600
    Total amount due                     $  5000"

[realityhack]

So to reacap. 20 hours billed for 2 1/2 hours worked. Result.

Ah SP, it may just be because I'm slightly tiddly, but as far as this story goes, you're my hero of the moment

Well done old chap. Any more outrageous billing tales to recount?

[MarillionFan]

What a C UN T you are!

[Cliphead]

So to reacap. 20 hours billed for 2 1/2 hours worked. Result.

I love stories like that.

[Sockpuppet]

I think maybe I have issues. Anyway here is a short play on what I did today.


[03:30] In a sleepy warehouse near a motorway a car pulls in an a handsome bloke gets out and walks to the traffic office.

Me: "Hello"
Them: "Ah, young squire what are you doing here"
Me: "I was requested to drive one of your fine vehicles"
Them: "Erm....no you weren't"
Me: "Ah ha..good chaps. Agency playing silly sausages again....never mind I shall claim my 10 hours anyway.....muppeteous maximus those agency chaps are"

[03:35] Handsome bloke retreats to car and goes home, ladies of said warehouse commit mass suicide

[04:00] Handsome bloke gets back into bed (alone)

[Around 11:00am HB not quite sure] Handsome bloke is woken by his phone

AgencyPimp: "Can you do me a favour?"
Me: "No, I can however do some work in return for cash. Ah ha...snortle"
AP: "Ok, can you work at <client name> in about 30mins"
Me: "To the Bat Mobile"


[12:00] Handsome bloke arrives to find <shockingly attractive> female dispatcher in distress

Shockingly Attractive Female Despatcher: Can you run this container over to this place what is very, close by but we have no-one left.
Me: "Sure toots, smoke me a kipper I'll be back for half two"
SAFD: "You go get them tiger...grrrr"

[12:05] HB leaves in truck

[14:30 ish] HB comes back in truck

Me: "Here toots, where is my kipper"
SAFD: "You're my hero"
Me: "Thanks, that kipper was great. Sign here please"

*shows timesheet with 10 hours on it*

SAFD: "Not a bad rate for 2 1/2 hours work"
Me: "GI JOe says stay in school."

So to reacap. 20 hours billed for 2 1/2 hours worked. Result.