Reply to: wife's done it again

[lilelvis2000]

Dont do that Elvis - money stuff means feck all. If you've got a wife who loves you, and who you love, then you have everything mate. Dont loose sight of that.

I hope your baby isn't too poorly

Thanks

Baby has a 'rattley'(sp?) chest. A run on from his abcess as his defences are still a bit run down.

[bobhope]

Separate accounts, separate budgets for individual spending. Anything else is asking for trouble.

Fair enough if you want a joint account for mortgage, etc.

[Jawz .]

Very attractive ladies can be had from Eastern Europe that make loving, caring and very low cost wives.

Just a thought.

www.russianbrides.com. Do it. Keep it real.

[Spacecadet]

My wife and I only have the 1 joint account and 1 savings account (in her name). Surplus does go into the savings, however we keep having to take some back out into the current account still, we get a net growth of savings so its working alright I guess.
It's only been 5 months since we got the joint account, lots of "bugs" in the process still to sort out. We do watch out for each others spendings. It does feel intimidating at first having to explain a £50 withdrawal, but all it means is being honest to each other about spending. Its not as if I'm blowing it on strippers and booze, so i don't have a problem explaining if she does ask.
Wife has her own switch card and if she's out shopping she'll usually just use the card to pay so i can see on the statements where she's been shopping. For some reason she never takes cash out herself but asks me to get it for her (i've never worked that one out,) or swipes if from my wallet.
We still find our selves caught short sometimes by an unexpected direct debit, so definitely some more organisation needed with regards to that.
As troll says, having 3 personal accounts between us would be stupid. must be simpler to take cash once a month/week for personal (i.e. don't need to explain this ever) use.

[SallyAnne]

Oh well, I've left it for her to sort out. This and the baby being unwell and a non-fault car accident and previous financial difficulties - where I had to bail her out to the tune of 15K..make me wonder if we arn't a cursed pair.

Dont do that Elvis - money stuff means feck all. If you've got a wife who loves you, and who you love, then you have everything mate. Dont loose sight of that.

I hope your baby isn't too poorly

[lilelvis2000]

Luckily we don't have a credit card. The money transfer happens as she refuses point blank to convert her account into a chequing account - and there is no branch of her bank near where she works.

Yes she likes to keep her money separate - her priviledge really. I pay all the bills and provide her with spending money. The joint account used to just be mine, then I agreed to make it joint. I only created my additional separate account later where I could keep divis and such - as having such a large single blob of money would be too tempting to go through quickly (for her - I'm a miser).

Oh well, I've left it for her to sort out. This and the baby being unwell and a non-fault car accident and previous financial difficulties - where I had to bail her out to the tune of 15K..make me wonder if we arn't a cursed pair.

[SallyAnne]

Do you all have 'My Account' 'Her Account' ' Joint Account' 's ? to me that just makes it harder to keep track of where the money is and where it is going (and with all the easy credit available to each of these accounts can lead into serious debt very quickly)

I understand that some women may feel threatened without the independence of having their own account but in my case,all money from both parties goes straight into the joint account - and that was the case even before we were married!, surplus is swept into a high rate savings account.

All standing orders DD etc are in a spreadsheet and the monthly drawings are known via the withdraw of cash for weekly living.

Like I have said if she needs to buy extra stuff no problem - just withdraw extra cash - what it does stop is the impulse buys - 'I'll just stick it on the card and pay later syndrome which can affect males and females

I don't know why she needs to transfer money from the joint account but it will keep on happening without control

I admire you for this Troll, but jesus I coudl NEVER just have a joint account!! I'm just not built that way.
I could never ever ever have a conversation which started "why did you take that money out" because it would end in a "BECAUSE i FEEKCING WANTED TO" high scale fight!! It just gets my back up straight away just thinking about it.

I dont know why but I'd feel totally threatened and bulllied if I had to explain my spendings.

Ewwww - the thought of it makes me go cold!

Brilliant for people who CAN do this though - it must make life really simple. but no, not for me.
My account
His account
joint account.

[Troll]

That's what we do. But whenever my wife needs to send money somewhere she uses the joint account and transfers money in from her account...which she sometimes fails to do...or fails to put in enough..or sends the cheque before the money arrives from her transfer.

I leave a buffer of atleast £300 for any shopping or surprises and I have a online account where I keep an emergency fund.

I used to keep track of the account and politely 'inform' the wife that we were a bit short..but after having been lectured on her money management skills - I leave it up to her. Since then we've gone overdrawn each month.

Do you all have 'My Account' 'Her Account' ' Joint Account' 's ? to me that just makes it harder to keep track of where the money is and where it is going (and with all the easy credit available to each of these accounts can lead into serious debt very quickly)

I understand that some women may feel threatened without the independence of having their own account but in my case,all money from both parties goes straight into the joint account - and that was the case even before we were married!, surplus is swept into a high rate savings account.

All standing orders DD etc are in a spreadsheet and the monthly drawings are known via the withdraw of cash for weekly living.

Like I have said if she needs to buy extra stuff no problem - just withdraw extra cash - what it does stop is the impulse buys - 'I'll just stick it on the card and pay later syndrome which can affect males and females

I don't know why she needs to transfer money from the joint account but it will keep on happening without control

[DimPrawn]

Third month running, she's written a large cheque from the joint account and failed to check that there was actually any money in the account. third month running we'll have to try and convince the bank not to charge their usual 'penalty ' fees. Ain't it brill living with a - and I quote - 'excellent money manager'.

I'd close the account but then she'd have nothing to f^&k up every month.

Very attractive ladies can be had from Eastern Europe that make loving, caring and very low cost wives.

Just a thought.

[boredsenseless]

Sorry must be mistaken but I thought I heard someone mention the phrases...

Live within your means

&

Budget

I refer you to this sites URL

www .CONTRACTORuk.com

you should be ashamed using rude words like this on this site. Better yet just get the butler to have a quiet word with the missus.

[lilelvis2000]

Get an agreed overdraft limit even if you don't need one. We've got one which we never plan to use, but it's handy in case we go a few pence overdrawn otherwise we'd incur the evil bank's bad boy charges.

Which are easily recovered - we've managed it twice so far. no court dates just a trip in to see the manager and its done. I think they know they are on thin legal ice when it comes to these charges.

[lilelvis2000]

Married for 17 years- you need to set boundaries and make sure household expenses are kept in check... and the amount is very generous considering the household costs.
It's called living within your means.
If any extras are needed then it's not a problem as it's easy to keep track or delay until the next month.

Try it - be honest and open about your weekly costs - add a margin for luxuries etc and keep within a budget

That's what we do. But whenever my wife needs to send money somewhere she uses the joint account and transfers money in from her account...which she sometimes fails to do...or fails to put in enough..or sends the cheque before the money arrives from her transfer.

I leave a buffer of atleast £300 for any shopping or surprises and I have a online account where I keep an emergency fund.

I used to keep track of the account and politely 'inform' the wife that we were a bit short..but after having been lectured on her money management skills - I leave it up to her. Since then we've gone overdrawn each month.

[milanbenes]

Troll,

seconded

Milan.

[oraclesmith]

Third month running, she's written a large cheque from the joint account and failed to check that there was actually any money in the account. third month running we'll have to try and convince the bank not to charge their usual 'penalty ' fees. Ain't it brill living with a - and I quote - 'excellent money manager'.

I'd close the account but then she'd have nothing to f^&k up every month.

Get an agreed overdraft limit even if you don't need one. We've got one which we never plan to use, but it's handy in case we go a few pence overdrawn otherwise we'd incur the evil bank's bad boy charges.

[Troll]

you're obviously single - and probably be that way for a loooooong time.

Married for 17 years- you need to set boundaries and make sure household expenses are kept in check... and the amount is very generous considering the household costs.
It's called living within your means.
If any extras are needed then it's not a problem as it's easy to keep track or delay until the next month.

Try it - be honest and open about your weekly costs - add a margin for luxuries etc and keep within a budget