Originally posted by OwlHoot
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I've just sat through one the worst films of all time
.. a prize specimen of turkeysaurus - the mother of all turkeys: Attack Force, starring Steven Seagal (made last year).
It made the most comically contrived and stylistic martial arts film ever made look like King Lear by comparison.
The plot was so muddled and diffuse it literally looked like they were making it up as they want along - It started out as a high-tech conspiracy and morphed into something more like van Helsing chasing vampires, as befits a film made in Romania.
The acting, including Seagal's, was as wooden as a hammer beam roof. But then how could it be otherwise when the dialog was a nothing but a load of terse yank cliches that sounded like they were being dubbed when they weren't.
Most baffling of all, Seagal's voice constantly changed - One minute he sounded like Terry Wogan imitating Marlon Brando playing the Godfather, and the next moment he had a bizarre bronchial French accent. Really surreal. Even with the money, what in the world was he thinking of being involved in this cranky film?
Normally I think nothing of buying at least couple of DVDs each week, even if they do turn out crap. But I resent having wasted £10 on this film. I'd rather have rolled it up and dropped it down a drain - At least a passing rat might have put it to good use for lining his nest!
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