Reply to: Marmalade

[hyperD]

Ahem. http://www.taxationweb.co.uk/busines...cle.php?id=266

!

I'm shocked you even considered that I would not be declaring this on my tax return.

I'm shocked DP knew I would certainly not declare this on my tax form!!

Tax barstards!

[Lucifer Box]

Ahem. http://www.taxationweb.co.uk/busines...cle.php?id=266

!

I'm shocked you even considered that I would not be declaring this on my tax return.

[Lucifer Box]

Names:

'Lucifer's Treacly Orange' (suggests common flavour but real reason for name - the pending threat the IR turning up the heat (flame orange) on contractors puting us in a sticky situation like swimming through treacle, which is why we now we've packed it in to make marmalade).

Lucifer's Lemon - (for flavour but also to describe the likely value of IT contracts in the future - like buying a 'lemon' (something useless) - hence we've all left to make marmalade).

Lucifer's Grapefruit - (for flavour to also to drive home how bitter and sour we all are because of Gordo's constant persecution).

Lucifer's Thick Cut - (a mixed fruit flavour but really to describe Gordo's greedy tax grabbing approach, hence our reason for packing in IT and making marmalade now).

Lucifer's Revenge' - Especially for Gordo. Lurid Green Lime Marmalade (green to represent the envy of those who want to stop us getting on and be rewarded for our efforts against the added risks involved) flavoured with a distinct whiff of Almond (Arsenic).

Denny, would you like to be my marketing manager? I only got as far as Lucifer's Luscious Preserves - They're the Work of the Devil.

[DimPrawn]

Indeed and yes, let's swap products in a barter-esque style kibbush way.

Ahem. http://www.taxationweb.co.uk/busines...cle.php?id=266

!

[realityhack]

<pedant mode on>
Cyanide is the whiff of Bitter Almonds...
HTH.
<pedant mode off>

You seem to know an awful lot about this Zeity...

[Lucifer Box]

You've sold me.

I've got an idea. In the light of all the the IR threats coming our way let's all pack in contracting, form a commune and make marmalade and chutney all day to sell to large corporations. At least IR35 won't apply then.

Okay, Denny, many thanks. There's a jar with your name on it. Small, medium or large?

I would if I thought I could shift enough of it.

[Lucifer Box]

Where does the black treacle come into it for marmalade??

It gives it that lovely dark orange colour that the best marmalades have and counterpoints the bitterness of the oranges without being too sweet.

[Troll]

It's that oh so short window in the year when the Seville oranges are in season so I'm going to be cooking up some marmalade. I normally make enough to last me the whole year but I have a huge marmalade pan so there's plenty of room. It's all organic and made with black treacle and Kentucky bourbon. Nice thick chunks of peel and a lovely tangy taste totally unlike the sickly sweet mass-produced stuff.

Anyone want some? £1 per 100g (net) plus postage at cost.

Where does the black treacle come into it for marmalade??

[SallyAnne]

I think salad cream would be more appropriate, don't you?

Thats not right

[Lucifer Box]

I would like nice tangy orange Marmalade with lots of chunky peel in it but there's one problem - I don't do breakfast apart from black coffee. Difficult to find another suitable time to eat it unless you enjoy Marmalade sponge pudding (and I don't)

Honey or Marmite is more my thing anyway, and that's impossible to make Marmite at home but at least it's suitable for eating at anytime.

It makes a wonderful glaze, for ham for example, and is especially fine when used as such with turbot. It can of course be used as an excellent base for a hassle free orange sauce. It is also lovely spread on the slices of bread in a bread 'n' butter pudding with a difference. You could even put a little (less the peel) in a hollandaise sauce.

[sasguru]

depends if you want marmelade with that

I think salad cream would be more appropriate, don't you?

[andy]

How much for just the Colombian virgin's arse ?

depends if you want marmelade with that

[sasguru]

I'll have some!

And blatantly riding on this, why not try some of Mr hyperD's homemade Mrs Miggins mango chutney for all your curries? Made with the finest mangos, chillis and organic muscavado sugar rolled on a Colombian virgin's arse and better than the festering brown shoe-scrape found in most local tandoori restaurants.

How much for just the Colombian virgin's arse ?

[hyperD]

DUCK you fool!

Many thanks TLG, but I'm safe as she's plotting in Hungers as we speak (write), hence the lobster thermador banquets, bottles of white Châteauneuf-du-Pape and unlimited games of UT2004...

...oh, happy days...

[Lucifer Box]

Of course, plenty of it to go around...!

Perfect, that's exactly how I like my arses.