Reply to: Gran Canaria

[The Lone Gunman]

Make breakfast in bed? Messy and a fire risk I would have thought. You want them to bring you breakfast in bed.

What are you having Threaded? Lard sandwhiches with extra lard and a side order of lard?

and I don't think you should be interfering with the pool boy either!

[Churchill]

I think we have our own Alan Wicker.

Does Alan give the pool boy a good seeing to in the morning too?

[bobhope]

I think we have our own Alan Wicker.

[threaded]

Pool boy has woken me up clattering about outside so I've asked him to send someone to make me breakfast in bed.

I'm knackered and I'm not goin' anywhere today.

[wendigo100]

Why not use your time machine to get back to the villa?

It didn't fit in his saddle bag.

[Churchill]

Why not use your time machine to get back to the villa?

[threaded]

Well, it's really fscking cold up here and it looks like it's going dark down below, so can't hang about. Going to see how far I get before I have to get a taxi to take me home. Got a picture of a man with a donkey wanting me to ride it for a Euro. Be befuddled as I guess he doesn't want to give me the Euro.

Shall have to try this again, but start way earlier in the morning.

Hopefully hit some semblance of civilization before it goes black; seriously stopped off at a village on the way up that was a set of caves, lovely restaurant as well which is also a cave. Which was nice.

Toodle pips.

[cab]

Don't forget your puncture kit!!!!

Off to Las Palmas de Gran Canaria today, by the most direct route: straight over the middle, by bicycle. Have been told to watch out for on-coming cars by looking across the valleys and try to remember them If I hear a horn on a switch-back it means it's a truck turning wide who ain't going to stop rounding the blind bend into me

Oh, also been told: don't look down.

I'm going to try and post to my blog from 1,734 m

[cab]

Lanzarote is by far the nicer of the Canaries and providing you don't stay in Puerto del Carmen (Blackpool on Steroids) you will have a tranquil stay. Playa Blanca is the quietst and nicest resort, with Costa Teguise another slightly busier option. Have been numerous times for some winter sunshine and never tire of the place.

I don't recommend Gran Canaria, stayed for 3 weeks once and ended up hating the island.

I was thinking of staying 5 star in Lanzarote for a week. Anyone been there? I want a chav free environment where I can just swim, laze about, read and pamper myself without the remotest likelihood of bumping into any Jade Goody type characters or any other loud mouth showoffs who are clearly out to get their kit off, binge drink and disturb the hotel residents. Not interested in riding up craters or clubbing (too old for that!)

Is Lanzarote a good place (it seemed more interesting to me) or is Gran Canaria better this time of year?

Advice please!

[threaded]

Off to Las Palmas de Gran Canaria today, by the most direct route: straight over the middle, by bicycle. Have been told to watch out for on-coming cars by looking across the valleys and try to remember them If I hear a horn on a switch-back it means it's a truck turning wide who ain't going to stop rounding the blind bend into me

Oh, also been told: don't look down.

I'm going to try and post to my blog from 1,734 m

[Gonzo]

I was thinking of staying 5 star in Lanzarote for a week. Anyone been there? I want a chav free environment where I can just swim, laze about, read and pamper myself without the remotest likelihood of bumping into any Jade Goody type characters or any other loud mouth showoffs who are clearly out to get their kit off, binge drink and disturb the hotel residents. Not interested in riding up craters or clubbing (too old for that!)

Is Lanzarote a good place (it seemed more interesting to me) or is Gran Canaria better this time of year?

Advice please!

Spent a week in Lanzarote a couple of months back. We thought in advance that we would hate it but have decided to make a week of winter sun in the Canaries an annual fixture.

Just make sure that you are at a decent resort which you don't need to leave. That way you can avoid the English/Irish/Scottish pubs (although they provide a valuable service for people that can't bear to miss Emmerdale or Coronation Street ).

Apparently we missed some interesting scenery but we didn't go for that, just to spend a week in the sun by the pool.

Don't know how Lanzarote compares with Gran Canaria though, I was thinking about giving that one a try this year.

Oh, and to really avoid the chavs you will need to fly business class. 4 hours is a long time to be sat next to one.

[AtW]

*sniffs*

If only we knew how to be more like you, great threaded!

[wendigo100]

Just in case anyone missed this:

I was looking at them (the locals) laughing at people paying €100 for a fake watch and overheard a Danish guy looking at a Breitling and saying he couldn't see the difference. So I showed him a real one and how obvious it was to tell.

Magnificent.

[sasguru]

Well, I've got my laptop out and surfing via clients VPN, for some reason can't surf via the local telco, obviously it's the same path for the first leg, but it's holiday time, so anyways.

Been for a good few rides, which is nice. Road bike on the coast road to Mogan market yesterday. Lots of knock offs, really obvious knock offs too. I was looking at them laughing at people paying €100 for a fake watch and overheard a Danish guy looking at a Breitling and saying he couldn't see the difference. So I showed him a real one and how obvious it was to tell. The looks from the market holder told me it was best to wander off. Looked at the boats being repaired and guessed many of the sailors seriously sh1t themselves when they did that damage. There was even a tourist submarine out of the water called "Yellow Submarine" looked like it had been a marine cable sledge that had been converted. Took the ferry back to Puerto Rico, and had a good laugh with the crew, don't think they get many people with a bicycle. Forced my way through a veritable swarm of time-share touts, shopped in the Spar, overfilled my rucksac, and then back up the hill as fast as possible. Which finished me off for the day.

This mornings was mountain biking: down to Puerto Rico bounced off the dock and back up the next valley called "Dog water river", or something, lovely names. At the top of that went down the other side as I remembered seeing a big circus tent, which turned out to be a "Scandinavian party house" (lord knows what that is, but it looked like a rough version of Damhuskroen, if that is possible). Not fancying the road turned into a storm drain which brought me out to a lovely nearly destered rocky bay (apart from a tramp), went around the headland and blow me, but I was in the Anfi del Mar resort. Narrowly escaping the time-share touts (some suitable phrases in Islandisk stumped them) up into Arguineguin whilst I collected my bearings and worked out how I got there. Figured if I set off up the next valley I might crest out with a view to the back of my villa and get some good pictures. Well, it was like one great big building site, enormous: sets of stairs, 100 so steps, 4 or 5 sets one after the other going to the top of the hill and 5 or 6 sets of these, and the whole hill terraced. That is going to be a flipping big place, a mental calculation recons 3000 beds at 5*+, at least. Back to where I was, not only did I crest out I found I was in fact at the back of my villa. Now that is what I call a short cut, it's a €20 taxi ride or a 5 minute downhill. 60 minutes back up like...

I've printed this off and will keep it next to my bed for the next time I have insomnia.

[threaded]

Well, I've got my laptop out and surfing via clients VPN, for some reason can't surf via the local telco, obviously it's the same path for the first leg, but it's holiday time, so anyways.

Been for a good few rides, which is nice. Road bike on the coast road to Mogan market yesterday. Lots of knock offs, really obvious knock offs too. I was looking at them laughing at people paying €100 for a fake watch and overheard a Danish guy looking at a Breitling and saying he couldn't see the difference. So I showed him a real one and how obvious it was to tell. The looks from the market holder told me it was best to wander off. Looked at the boats being repaired and guessed many of the sailors seriously sh1t themselves when they did that damage. There was even a tourist submarine out of the water called "Yellow Submarine" looked like it had been a marine cable sledge that had been converted. Took the ferry back to Puerto Rico, and had a good laugh with the crew, don't think they get many people with a bicycle. Forced my way through a veritable swarm of time-share touts, shopped in the Spar, overfilled my rucksac, and then back up the hill as fast as possible. Which finished me off for the day.

This mornings was mountain biking: down to Puerto Rico bounced off the dock and back up the next valley called "Dog water river", or something, lovely names. At the top of that went down the other side as I remembered seeing a big circus tent, which turned out to be a "Scandinavian party house" (lord knows what that is, but it looked like a rough version of Damhuskroen, if that is possible). Not fancying the road turned into a storm drain which brought me out to a lovely nearly destered rocky bay (apart from a tramp), went around the headland and blow me, but I was in the Anfi del Mar resort. Narrowly escaping the time-share touts (some suitable phrases in Islandisk stumped them) up into Arguineguin whilst I collected my bearings and worked out how I got there. Figured if I set off up the next valley I might crest out with a view to the back of my villa and get some good pictures. Well, it was like one great big building site, enormous: sets of stairs, 100 so steps, 4 or 5 sets one after the other going to the top of the hill and 5 or 6 sets of these, and the whole hill terraced. That is going to be a flipping big place, a mental calculation recons 3000 beds at 5*+, at least. Back to where I was, not only did I crest out I found I was in fact at the back of my villa. Now that is what I call a short cut, it's a €20 taxi ride or a 5 minute downhill. 60 minutes back up like...