Organisers of a village Christmas party have been told they must carry out a risk assessment of their mince pies - or their festivities will be cancelled.
Council bosses say posters will have to be displayed at the party in Embsay, in the Yorkshire Dales, warning villagers the pies contain nuts and suet pastry.
The cocoa content and temperature of the hot chocolate must also be checked.
I also understand that Santa may need a Criminal Records Bureau check.
I love this country.
