Reply to: Mobile phone for kids - do on own or part of a deal

[bobspud]

It is funny. The two of them are very different, and my own views have changed on these things as well.

I used to think I should shield them from TV advertising because they lack the capacity to judge the veracity of claims. But then I decided that if they are going to grow up in a world of advertising, they need to learn somehow. And they are now very cynical about any advertised products (unless of course it is promoted by Barry Scott).

Yep having parents with a bit of cynicism will do wonders.

This is also worth a look

How are smartphones affecting teenagers? - BBC News

[northernladyuk]

Yep and those are the feelers that she is using to gauge your tolerances so that the day she decides to fire the first salvo you will already be beaten. My one spent the last years of her single figures telling us that she wanted her ears pierced. (yes dear when you are older thats fine we said. thinking we had won that little round..) Then suddenly she came home with a bolt through her tongue

You have to laugh otherwise

It is funny. The two of them are very different, and my own views have changed on these things as well.

I used to think I should shield them from TV advertising because they lack the capacity to judge the veracity of claims. But then I decided that if they are going to grow up in a world of advertising, they need to learn somehow. And they are now very cynical about any advertised products (unless of course it is promoted by Barry Scott).

[bobspud]

My 6 year old is already openly planning the things she will do when she is a teenager and we won't be able to stop her.

Yep and those are the feelers that she is using to gauge your tolerances so that the day she decides to fire the first salvo you will already be beaten. My one spent the last years of her single figures telling us that she wanted her ears pierced. (yes dear when you are older thats fine we said. thinking we had won that little round..) Then suddenly she came home with a bolt through her tongue

You have to laugh otherwise

[northernladyuk]

The problem is the education message is fighting a teenage brain that is suddenly unballanced through lack of frontal lobe development. It's not that the kids do stupid things on purpose or even malice its that their monkey gets control just at the worst possible point. So while we are saying go to school and be good, the monkey is offering all sorts of new and interesting buzzes.

Personally I'm amazed I survived this phase of development let alone my kids

When we taught our just walking toddlers to stay away from an open fire or hot cups of liquid and nasty dogs with foaming mouths, they instinctively understood. Had they had the same brain as a teenager, they would leap straight for the nearest Darwin Award because it was:

a) Warm
b) Will be fun
c) Coz you said NO!

Our trust sets them up to fail regardless of the warnings we give them or how good they have been so far.

My 6 year old is already openly planning the things she will do when she is a teenager and we won't be able to stop her.

[bobspud]

It's easier to educate than prevent.

The problem is the education message is fighting a teenage brain that is suddenly unballanced through lack of frontal lobe development. It's not that the kids do stupid things on purpose or even malice its that their monkey gets control just at the worst possible point. So while we are saying go to school and be good, the monkey is offering all sorts of new and interesting buzzes.

Personally I'm amazed I survived this phase of development let alone my kids

When we taught our just walking toddlers to stay away from an open fire or hot cups of liquid and nasty dogs with foaming mouths, they instinctively understood. Had they had the same brain as a teenager, they would leap straight for the nearest Darwin Award because it was:

a) Warm
b) Will be fun
c) Coz you said NO!

Our trust sets them up to fail regardless of the warnings we give them or how good they have been so far.

[TheFaQQer]

Its easier to keep the genie in the bottle at least for a few more years.

It's easier to educate than prevent.

[bobspud]

Sharing without permission is a criminal offence.

Up until some separate and horrific events earlier this year, This was 100% where I stood on the matter.

However, following the brutal rape of a someone I know and an ongoing police investigation for additional witness intimidation.

I can state from bad experience that this playground tulip is beyond the time and effort of the police. There is far too much of it and its far too prevalent for them to even make a go of prosecution.

Besides which the child sex offences act is there to protect children and parents from unwittingly letting their guard down amongst mentally ill offenders that may or may not be a predatory risk. The more false positives that end up on that list because of this the less use it is and the more our kids are in danger.

Any sharing is a criminal offence for child pornography.

Setting the scene for prosecuting every kid that sends or sees a snap of their class mate or girlfriends fleshy bits and putting them on the same register as someone that should never be left alone near children is the wrong action to be taking.

For this reason I am now in the preventing it is better than trying to cure the aftermath camp.

So what we are doing when we give a young child a phone is provide a massive tool of safety and potential damage right at the time when they are at their most vulnerable to risks and animal instincts... Now add peer pressure and the way our media barely clothes most of their female role models and here we are at the gates of hell.

This is worth a read I wish I had seen it earlier

Teenagers' brain development | Raising Children Network

I tried locking my kids phones down but frankly the applications that are out there are far too numerous and hard to classify to keep the problems out.

Its easier to keep the genie in the bottle at least for a few more years.

[kaiser78]

My child got a phone for starting secondary school - started off with a cheap phone on payg, then got an iPhone on a great offer when my child had shown to use responsibly.

Tariff is capped at monthly limits and linked to my account so I get all the notifications. And I regularly check the phone to make sure there is no misuse...

[northernladyuk]

Sharing without permission is a criminal offence.

Any sharing is a criminal offence for child pornography.

[TheFaQQer]

You seriously don't get how prevalent the Snapchat mess is do you? And by the way if someone had made the complaint it's the girl that would have gotten the criminal charges because she made and distributed the images in the first instance.

The whole thing is sick and ****ed up beyond all recognition

Sharing without permission is a criminal offence.

[bobspud]

Did nobody make a child pornography complaint to the police?

You seriously don't get how prevalent the Snapchat mess is do you? And by the way if someone had made the complaint it's the girl that would have gotten the criminal charges because she made and distributed the images in the first instance.

The whole thing is sick and ****ed up beyond all recognition

[northernladyuk]

The whole of my daughters school got to see some poor 15 year olds girls biff last year. The schools reaction was happened the last five years too so why are we going to.be surprised this time?

Kids despite what we think when we love the are ferral little bastards and the lord of the flies wasn't nearly graphic enough compared to their craved behaviours....

Did nobody make a child pornography complaint to the police?

[bobspud]

Take a photo of the screen with another phone.

The whole of my daughters school got to see some poor 15 year olds girls biff last year. The schools reaction was happened the last five years too so why are we going to.be surprised this time?

Kids despite what we think when we love the are ferral little bastards and the lord of the flies wasn't nearly graphic enough compared to their craved behaviours....

[bobspud]

Personally I would resist the begging for a phone for as many more years as possible. The tulip they can get up to is truly awful and you bring all the playground crap straight into the house 24 / 7

My time over my kids still wouldn't have one and they are teenagers.

[northernladyuk]

And if you screengrab, it tells the person that sent you the snap that you've grabbed it.

Take a photo of the screen with another phone.