Flowery Language on the Railways

[MicrosoftBob]

mine said 'one at a time. please'

I thought they only say that to NLadyUK or AndyWs mum

[EternalOptimist]

What about Virgin Trains talking toilets? (Googling tells me it's on a sign too, but the toilet definitely spoke to me) "Please do not flush nappies, sanitary towels, old mobile phones, unpaid bills, your ex's jumper, hopes, dreams or goldfish down the toilet."

mine said 'one at a time. please'

[SueEllen]

Mind you, the rates tube drivers get I expect a bit of flowery language thrown in with the deal.

Most of the train drivers aren't on bad rates either.

It's the station staff who are paid tulip.

Oh and on the tube they cheat they have a little book of quotations.

[rl4engc]

I was once waiting for a train on a busy platform at Manchester Picadilly, there was some d*ckhead (lets say he was wearing an orange T-Shirt) was stood at the front of the platform. The train arrived and came to rest way beyond where Mr. Orange Shirt, so he made a gesture towards the driver for being so rude as to not stop with the doors directly in front of him.

With everyone piling on to the train, the driver put out the announcement something along the lines of "This is a special announcement for the gentleman wearing the orange T-Shirt who made a rude gesure to me, I'd like to inform him that the train will come to halt where it's supposed to and not where it would suit him..". Cue a bit of impromptu clapping and muffled "F'ing " from the rest of the commuters.

[BrilloPad]

What about Virgin Trains talking toilets? (Googling tells me it's on a sign too, but the toilet definitely spoke to me) "Please do not flush nappies, sanitary towels, old mobile phones, unpaid bills, your ex's jumper, hopes, dreams or goldfish down the toilet."

I thought it said to you "you are constipated. eat more prunes"

[mudskipper]

What about Virgin Trains talking toilets? (Googling tells me it's on a sign too, but the toilet definitely spoke to me) "Please do not flush nappies, sanitary towels, old mobile phones, unpaid bills, your ex's jumper, hopes, dreams or goldfish down the toilet."

[GlenW]

A few years ago on a packed train from Hexham to Newcastle, as we approached The Metro Centre the guard announced that our next stop was the said huge shopping centre and, 'to change here for Marks and Spencers, Argos and ASDA'.

If it hadn't have been early on a Monday morning some of us may have smiled, instead the only reaction was someone near me saying, 'Tit!'. Us fun loving Geordies.

[BrilloPad]

Welcome to London Bridge. You will now be searched for dangerous weapons. If not found, you will be given some.

[barrydidit]

Anyone noticed this predilection for making announcements in rather ostentatious language?

Friday evening we were informed that we were about to arrive at Bristol Temple Meads - "The Jewel in Brunel's crown and Gateway to the South West."

Then this morning we arrived at the "Compact and bijou station we call Bristol Parkway".

I first heard it years ago on the Tube but it seems they're all at it now.

Mind you, the rates tube drivers get I expect a bit of flowery language thrown in with the deal.

Give him a break, he's got to do something with his time

[Gumbo Robot]

Anyone noticed this predilection for making announcements in rather ostentatious language?

Friday evening we were informed that we were about to arrive at Bristol Temple Meads - "The Jewel in Brunel's crown and Gateway to the South West."

Then this morning we arrived at the "Compact and bijou station we call Bristol Parkway".

I first heard it years ago on the Tube but it seems they're all at it now.

Mind you, the rates tube drivers get I expect a bit of flowery language thrown in with the deal.