Pruning Religion

Banning religion

It's been tried several times. It tends to end in gulags.

Yeah. Doesn't everyone ?

I thought we had all got bored with super-waif-like models and the cult of celebrity lasses parading their stuff on TV and in Chav-Lad Mags like Loaded and FHM ?

I thought we were all on to road maps now ?

Didn't you get one of the leaflets through your door Xog, explaining it all ?

Surely I'm not the only one sharing moments of furtive and illicit intimacy with the A406 North Circular ?

God, now I feel really weird...

Not sure I understoood that gag although everyone else must do apparently. You mean you toss off over your 1952 RAC road Atlas?

I must admit, I've never been to Tiverton.

I came across the name in my 1952 RAC Road Atlas, which I always keep in the glove compartment of my Austin Princess.

After wiping the pages dry (because if I didn't crack that gag, somebody else would), I noticed that it is in Devon.

When I was a wee nipper, I used to play a fantasy computer game that had a place called Tiverton in it. I seem to recall always being attacked by Giant Wasps that hurled magical fireballs everytimr I tried to enter the town.

That put me off ever going there in real life, and is probably why I have an allergy to wasps and Tiverton today.

Perhaps when they build a decent road there, I'll give it a go, once I can mount canisters of wasp-killer on the roof of my car.

By the way...having an out of date road map is great fun !

You can promise to take the family out to quaint little villages for a picnic, and when you get there, it's all been bulldozed over with concrete and turning into a Chav-friendly Ghetto. The looks on their faces !

My other trick is to drive using on the roads in the atlas. You get to see many more interesting things, and avoid all the new roads. The downside is takes 2-3 hours down country lanes to do a 2 mile journey, but hey, what's the obsession with rushing, daddio ?

Next month, I am taking 3 weeks off to do a cross country rally in my Princess, going from Essex to the village of Glasgow, using only B roads and dirt tracks. Should be great fun !

Yay!, Tiverton must go.

wha...???

I would have thought I would have been congratulated for helping to get rid of slough...

Traitor !

I'n not complying until 5:42pm then

It is with significant importance that I have been elected to inform you of the following.

The Arch High Imperator, Gaxxus IV, has been duly appointed as the Overseer and Chief Tyrant of the Universe.

In the momentous Crowning Ceremony, in which 24,000 virgins were ritually abused by a Dennis Waterman look-a-like, the First Tyrannical Law was passed.

1. All religions in the known, unknown and parallel Universii are outlawed with immediate effect.

Since the Arch High Imperator IS the Master of the Universes, this law does extend to our own planet called "Earth" (also known as "Kevin" behind our backs by all the more intelligent civilisations in space).

As a result, could the forum administrators please remove all posts of a religious nature, and could all religious people please hand in your religious paraphenalia.

I shall contact the Governments of the World to pass on the message.

Failure to comply with the Jurisdiction will result in an Armada of Eye-Tyrant vessels destroying Slough at 5.41pm tomorrow. Staines will follow, then Leeds, Glasgow and finally Tiverton.

(Ok...the Gaxxians come from 3.4 billion light years away. Geography of the plant Kevin is not one of their strong points.)

He's obviously just come back from his "Alpha Course" or joined Opus Dei.

Yes was about to complain about that myself. All hail the new Christian CUK!

Chico is CUKs batty-boy and I claim my £5!!!

I was just in the process of editing a reply to a satrical religious thread, when I noticed the whole thread just disappeared in to thin air.

I then noticed "Contractor UK" as one of the logins.

May I congratulate the administrator for removing the thread, no doubt because of the new religious guidelines due soon.

May I also add, that to be on the safe side, you'd best remove all religious threads from the forum, just to be sure.

BGG, happy in the fact that the new Government directive is going to work against the religions, and cause knee-jerk censorship which will ultimately cause the religions to wither and die on the vine.

Next stop...boarding up houses of worship....