The council in Benidorm, which has spent years trying to re-brand itself as a high-end resort instead of a party town,

I've been expected to achieve the virtually impossible on occasion in the past (some public-sector IT projects come to mind) but this requires a whole new definition of the word "impossible".
Council of Benidorm, if you want to improve Benidorm, here's a tip. Declare it an IS Caliphate, and the USAF will do most of the hard work for you. Simples...

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