Own up, which one of you was on TV last night?

[Andyw]

AtW has classic doll shagger symptoms !

[_V_]

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0899/jar.html

Life Sized Satanic Doll Serves As Masturbation Toy For America's Youth

When Mrs. Tawny Huxton opened her son Timmy's bedroom door, she was shocked to see his innocent white hiney nestled into the new 7ft Jar Jar Binks doll she had bought him for his birthday. Lately, many Americans have suffered similar incidents. Young children are being seduced by the character of George Lucas' latest Star Wars Movie. Jar Jar's soothing voice, and timid childlike manners, seem to lure young teens into a world of lustful abandon. Unsuspecting parents purchase the popular life-size doll, only to find out later that it is being used by the child as a masturbation toy.

Under the guise of family entertainment, Lucas' "Star Wars" prequel has contaminated America's youth with subliminal sexual innuendo. Pastor Ebeneezer Smith of the Landover Baptist Church commented, "The demonic characteristics of the Jar Jar binks creature become obvious when one pays close attention. His forked tongue, his lapping, his malignant features, are all too noticeable to the Christ centered man." Experts who have examined the life-sized doll that has become the favorite 'toy' of 12-14 year old children, say that the evidence is overwhelming. The doll was created for the sole purpose of masturbation. It has four openings, and three extrusions, making it compatible for male or female pleasure.

Members of The Landover Baptist Church are outraged at the Satanic subtlety in which marketing geniuses have moved this horrific abomination into the homes of America's youth. "One Mother was concerned that her young daughter was not interested in boys," a Pastor noted, "she asked her little girl, 'why don't you talk about the cute boys at school?' Her daughter replied, 'oh momma, nobody I know is cuter than Jar Jar Binks.' The mother was horrified."

Landover Baptist Church finds that the only way to resolve this problem is to ban not only life sized Jar Jar Binks dolls from American homes, but to ban any life sized doll. "Any child that has seen this movie is finding that their natural attraction to members of the opposite sex is being replaced with an attraction to a 7ft devil with elephant feet, a 25 inch tongue, polka dot skin, a fish snout, and two phallic eyes that jut out like hard erotic pokers. For the Love of God! If you've got this devil in your house, remove it as soon as possible!



Do you have a lifesize Jar Jar binks doll in the house? Perhaps Chico should be more careful in future.

[oraclesmith]

I see, so the church is saying that 12 year old mid-West retards should go and find some other 12 year old retards to pork instead of a lump of rubber ?

[wobbegong]

and two Americans who live with multiple dolls, one of whom shares his eight synthetic lovers with his human girlfriend.

Who apparently left him two weeks after they filmed it!

It was morbidly fascinating. The way they all, without exception, referred to their dolls as 'she' instead of 'it', and professed to actually love them and worry about them when they're sent off for repair, was the surest sign of mental illness.

Ah, 'care in the community'; it's a wonderful thing!

[Mr Crosby]

Who apparently left him two weeks after they filmed it!

It was morbidly fascinating. The way they all, without exception, referred to their dolls as 'she' instead of 'it', and professed to actually love them and worry about them when they're sent off for repair, was the surest sign of mental illness.

Ah, 'care in the community'; it's a wonderful thing!

Not if the ****ers are living next door to you.

[hyperD]

__V__ - hilarious site!!

[wobbegong]

Now let me get one thing clear . . . .

. . . I'm not after one, NO I'M NOT! BUT . . . I wonder if they do male ones for gays/spinsters/nuns etc. ?

[BoredBloke]

The thing is, who said to their careers advisor at school that when they grow up they want to repair blow up dolls for a living.

[DimPrawn]

Me, but they only had a job as an computer operator going, and I thought that working with stiff lifeless dummies was the next best thing.

[wobbegong]

Did anyone else think that they had a "glazed-eyed corpse" look about them?

Which (thinking about it probably too much this afternoon), would be enforced by the fact that they must also feel cold, and they're a little too big to bung in the microwave to warm up for twenty seconds.