kids should stay at home with their mothers

[mudskipper]

I'm not sure it is but take your point stability with whoever the 'parent' is is probably the key thing.

No matter how equal we pretend to be, it's still the woman who gives birth and breastfeeds the baby, and therefore it's usually the mother who puts career on hold and ends up taking on most of the baby duties.

[Old Hack]

No matter how equal we pretend to be, it's still the woman who gives birth and breastfeeds the baby, and therefore it's usually the mother who puts career on hold and ends up taking on most of the baby duties.

I'm with Mudskipper here. There's no bond I could create with my children, that their mother has. No chance. I am a studiously involved father, who loves spending all sorts of time with his kids. But, at the end of the day, they're locked into their mother, first for 9 months, then, in the main, another year or so with the bottle. There's nothing you can do to mimic childbirth.

My wife has put her career on hold, and doesn't like to even have a night away from the kids. I have bought into it, as we will have more time together as they get older, and I can see they benefit from it.

[Old Greg]

No matter how equal we pretend to be, it's still the woman who gives birth and breastfeeds the baby, and therefore it's usually the mother who puts career on hold and ends up taking on most of the baby duties.

MF breastfeeds babies. So there!

[Old Hack]

MF breastfeeds babies. So there!

Well, he's got big enough tits, but the amount of tulip he spouts, I bet it isn't milk he's carrying around in those moobs

[mudskipper]

MF breastfeeds babies. So there!

I did have a rather inebriated discussion with an expectant father about whether it would be possible for a man to breastfeed. In theory it should - all the right bits are there, and men do sometimes produce a small amount of milk if their hormones are out of kilter. Breast milk, after the initial rush of hormones when you've given birth, is a supply and demand thing - stimulating the breasts causes milk to be produced. We devised a rigorous regime of daily nipple squeezing for him to follow, but I fear he failed to stick to the programme.

He's a contractor - don't know if he reads these forums - if he does perhaps he'll give us a man milk update.

[doodab]

Kids need both parents. I think that for the first 12-18 months, dad is a bit of a spare wheel and mum clearly has the advantage as the primary care giver, but once they get a bit older it evens out and there are some things that only a dad can do.

[formant]

My child is clearly doomed.
My career, however, is not.

*evil laugh*

In other words - Bulltulip.

The world, however, isn't set up for 'Equally Shared Parenting' (I recently found out there's a name for what we practice - hah!). We can do it because my contract as well as my other half's job is very, very flexible.

[Old Hack]

My child is clearly doomed.
My career, however, is not.

*evil laugh*

In other words - Bulltulip.

The world, however, isn't set up for 'Equally Shared Parenting' (I recently found out there's a name for what we practice - hah!). We can do it because my contract as well as my other half's job is very, very flexible.

Jesus, we could have done it, very easily. We chose not to, as we thought it would be better for the kids. We believe it was the right thing to do, and from how our kids are, think it's worked well.

[BigRed]

Children need two carers, the second one steps in when the first starts strangling them. Grandparents help as well.

[mudskipper]

Children need two carers, the second one steps in when the first starts strangling them. Grandparents help as well.

Yep - it's a tough job on your own.

Perhaps part of ante-natal classes should be an emphasis on giving your relationship priority - seems horrible when people with very young kids split up, they've hardly given it a chance.