Intolerant of intolerance

[MarillionFan]

Are you incompetent? If that many people lose their rag at you, you must be crap.

Not really. I tend to take the high stress jobs others can't handle(1st one excluded).
Done quite a few failing projects, few redundancies, few quangos. I get bought into the meetings or get assigned to work with difficult people that others won't.

I personally don't mind a bit of confrontation. The trip across London was to a client who had literally the week before had a power trip with one of the directors in the consultancy I was contracting within. He'd pushed his desk over in a pique of anger, files everywhere and then told the director to pick it up. Said, consultancy director did just that, meekly picking it all up. Worst case of bullying I've heard of.

[MarillionFan]

This is the first and only time I EVER stick up for MF.

People only lose their rag when they lose control. They lose control when you show them up. You might not even realise you're doing it. Insecurity and fear is a powerful emotion.

Actually that's a very good summation.

[sasguru]

This is the first and only time I EVER stick up for MF.

People only lose their rag when they lose control. They lose control when you show them up. You might not even realise you're doing it. Insecurity and fear is a powerful emotion.

Sometimes people lose control when they're dealing with incompetent numpties.

[alreadypacked]

I am posting this here as I want to learn of other peoples experiences.
As he is nearing the project deadline, the senior dev (his direct report) has been getting more and more erratic. Apparently it builds from a call not going his way (and throwing his headset across the room in a fit of pique) to balling my friend out over the slightest thing.

Last Friday was the final straw for him as apparently this chap lost his rag, screamed "Come here" at the top of his lungs, pointing to the seat next to him, then continued yelling "I'm not through with you yet", then made him sit there next to him while he tried to integrate my friends code into his work (would it really take 2 to do this? It sounds more likely to me that this senior dev is a little haphazard in his approach). The final straw was when he said "OK good boy, now you can go".

I advised my friend that this is intimidating behaviour and should not be tolerated. Fortunately for him he only has 4 weeks left to go in this gig so can tough it out.

Have you EVER been spoken to like this on a gig, and if so, what did you do?

I'll be sure to pass along any good advice to my friend.

senior dev is in the tulip, needs someone to blame, your friend will be gone in 4 weeks, senior dev has put on a show so when he points fingers people will agree.

Advise, he can take it, part of being a contractor, or email the PM as long as he has facts/docs to back him.

[MarillionFan]

Sometimes people lose control when they're dealing with incompetent numpties.

We've not lost it with you yet.

[sasguru]

Not really. I tend to take the high stress jobs others can't handle(1st one excluded).
Done quite a few failing projects, few redundancies, few quangos. I get bought into the meetings or get assigned to work with difficult people that others won't.

I personally don't mind a bit of confrontation. The trip across London was to a client who had literally the week before had a power trip with one of the directors in the consultancy I was contracting within. He'd pushed his desk over in a pique of anger, files everywhere and then told the director to pick it up. Said, consultancy director did just that, meekly picking it all up. Worst case of bullying I've heard of.

Bullying in a permie job should be dealt with by tribunal.
Bullying in a contract role should be dealt with by escalating to the highest person you can and walking.
In either case, being supremely competent deprives any come back.

[MarillionFan]

Bullying in a permie job should be dealt with by tribunal.
Bullying in a contract role should be dealt with by escalating to the highest person you can and walking.
In either case, being supremely competent deprives any come back.

Agreed. For the first one I was asked to give an update to HR regarding the individual in question.
In all cases(except the first) I was a contractor & at the end of the day you can toddle off with your middle finger up anytime you want.

[EternalOptimist]

In a situation like this
some people apply tact and forbearance
some apply a 'fck you' attitude
some apply for a new role and walk

I prefer to apply the swede

[doodab]

Have you EVER been spoken to like this on a gig, and if so, what did you do?

Yes. I got about two inches away from the guys face and screamed "THAT's BULLTULIP" at the top of my lungs, which is fairly loud. Then we both left the room to calm down.

[Bunk]

Loads of times.

First as a permie when I'd left University. My first job in the city and one of the partners(little chinese fella) came in and belittled me in front of everyone shouting the words 'When I say jump, you ask how high'. I was fuming, followed him into his office and physically pinned up to the wall telling him to never talk to me like that again. He apologised, I walked out and promptly quit a week later.

Second, on a contract. Again, a guy lost the plot at me screaming & shouting. I promptly took it, waited for him to leave, followed him out and had a massive fooking go at him, stepping right into his face to do it. He backed down, apologised.

Third(same contract), a DBA lost it & physically attacked me, throwing a punch before I pinned him against a wall. I then decided that was enough.

Fourth, client bawled at me down the phone, screaming & shouting, totally losing the plot. I then proceeded to hang up, cooly get on a train, travel an hour to his office, walk in and say 'What the fook did you say to me', before he apologised.

Fifth, contract year before lost, some guy incredibly rude lost the plot, bawled out to whit I cooly left, turned back and called him an arrogant prick before landing up in front of their HR department who told me off for calling him an arrogant prick (as I was overheard) and next time I should have called him an arrogant ****** . Go figure.

Best not to shout at me. I tend to lose it.

You've not even mentioned the one you threatened to throw out of the window