Trying to get out the door, help needed.

[mudskipper]

I go for "... and will not be accessing emails."

No-one's going to believe you've got no access - it says I'm choosing not to access them, so FU!

[DimPrawn]

I go for "... and will not be accessing emails."

No-one's going to believe you've got no access - it says I'm choosing not to access them, so FU!

Updation: For plenty quickness, please be doings email with other team members, back to homeland for tiffin.

[alreadypacked]

OK I'm out of here, play nice while I'm away

[DimPrawn]

OK I'm out of here, play nice while I'm away

Enjoy the sun and your toy boy.

[stek]

'As I'm too thick to work email, I am not leaving an Out of Office message'

[Freamon]

I make sure that the message mentions a date when I will return, usually a date in the past just to confuse people who bother to read it. Another cunning ruse is to include the name of someone who's recently left as an alternative contact.

The most amusing out of office I've received was from a senior manager at a BobCo which had a list of all the projects he was involved in and alternative contact details in his absence (mostly a list of names approaching C-level executives!) for each one - there were about 12 projects on the list. He was nominally in charge of each of these projects but didn't actually do any work on any of them.