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As for the notice period, this can be reduced to nothing by one of the following methods. There are no doubt others.
a) Have a tommy at work under the desk.
b) Call your boss a seeyouenntee.
c) Touch a secretary's pert young breasts.
d) Ostentatiously read a newspaper/a copy of Big Ones Special Older Woman/La Philosophie dans le Boudoir (delete as appropriate) all day long until marched from premises.
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