Gastric flu

[minestrone]

Hue station in 2003, closest I have been to making a mucky pup of myself, the night before I had a plate of prawns and that did the damage.

I ran into the toilet and upon finding no toilet roll I had to high speed crab walk back to my rucksack to grab a roll of andrex and then do an arse gripping paso doble back in to the men's room at break neck speed.

Onions, prawns, noodles, peppers. Straight in straight out.

[doodab]

This reminds me of the time I became addicted to smoked salmon and cream cheese bagels. Around 2 weeks into the binge I had a conversation something like:

DD: "This salmon smells a bit funny"
Mate: "Not surprised, it's been in there 2 weeks"
DD: "I'm just going for a tulip"

2 days of antibiotics and spraying pink jelly at the bog later I was right as rain.

I gave myself salmonella from a reheated Chinese once as well, that wasn't very nice.

[OwlHoot]

Last time I had a major dose of the galloping Henries was back in the 70s.

My parents had bought a hundredweight sack of rice, in case WW3 broke out. But as no nukes had materialised by the late 70s they suggested I might like to take it to uni and use it to save money on food.

The day after cooking my first curry, I was slightly surprised to be tulipting what sounded like gravel. It rattled on the bowl like a machine gun.

When I asked when they had actually bought this rice, it turned out to have been at the start of the Cold War, back in the early 50s. Well one could only commend their foresight. But obviously this stuff had literally fossilized and passed right through me unchanged.

[MrMark]

Last time I had a major dose of the galloping Henries was back in the 70s.

My parents had bought a hundredweight sack of rice, in case WW3 broke out. But as no nukes had materialised by the late 70s they suggested I might like to take it to uni and use it to save money on food.

The day after cooking my first curry, I was slightly surprised to be tulipting what sounded like gravel. It rattled on the bowl like a machine gun.

When I asked when they had actually bought this rice, it turned out to have been at the start of the Cold War, back in the early 50s. Well one could only commend their foresight. But obviously this stuff had literally fossilized and passed right through me unchanged.

Who's going to be the first to tell Owlhoot you're meant to boil the rice in water before eating?!

[SueEllen]

So I drove home. And some fooker stacked his motor on the M3 so had to sit in traffic for an hour to join the M25.

Sorry if you can wait that long to go then you weren't that ill.

And I'm not going into details

[Sands of Time]

Many years ago me and my young lady went for a meal - quite nice.

She came over all ill as we left the restaurant...

I drove home about 15 minutes away - she 'requested' I speed up - just got to the house, she ran upstairs - but didn't quite make it in time...

I've never seen anything like it - floor, walls, stairs - like something from Long Kesh.

Quite horrific.

She was ill most of the night and started vomiting soon after I made her clear it up.


Bing!

[SueEllen]

She was ill most of the night and started vomiting soon after I made her clear it up.

What a gentleman!

Bing!

And what's with the stupid ******* tulipting signature?

[suityou01]

Sorry if you can wait that long to go then you weren't that ill.

And I'm not going into details

Thank you doctor. I beg to differ. I was on the pot until 2am. I actually fell asleep while there, for a fleeting second before the next wave of bowel cramps and sqwits.

[MarillionFan]

Thank you doctor. I beg to differ. I was on the pot until 2am. I actually fell asleep while there, for a fleeting second before the next wave of bowel cramps and sqwits.

Bedshit:ter

[doodab]

Sorry if you can wait that long to go then you weren't that ill.

She has a point. During the Chicken Foo Yung episode I was so bad it was three days before I felt confident enough to walk the 15 minutes to the doctors.