Going Veggie

[OwlHoot]

Do you know what Nemesis means?

"Me ma wants a caravan. Fight yer fer it! (periwinkle blue)"

[suityou01]

WTF!!!

It's happened hasn't it. They've bored into that glacial lake, Nessy has escaped, the Hadron colider has created an alternative universe, Suityou is a hard straight talking Glaswegian and Minestrone has turned into a dress wearing veggie who cries when watching Babe!!!

Argahhhhhhh!!!!!!!

I'll kick yer arse fannybaws

[TestMangler]

I'll kick yer c**t in fannybaws

FTFY

[suityou01]

FTFY

Oh now this is just too far.

[TestMangler]

Listen Suityboy, if you want to sound like a hardman Glaswegian, you're going to need a few lessons, ok ?

"Toe your arse" is acceptable, as is "kick yer c**t in".......but "kick yer arse" is gay Edinburgh patter.

[suityou01]

Listen Suityboy, if you want to sound like a hardman Glaswegian, you're going to need a few lessons, ok ?

"Toe your arse" is acceptable, as is "kick yer c**t in".......but "kick yer arse" is gay Edinburgh patter.

My haggis is all a quiver.

[MarillionFan]

FTFY

Oh now this is just too far.

But I no longer have a cart I bought a Passat

Milan

[RichardCranium]

Listen Suityboy, if you want to sound like a hardman Glaswegian, you're going to need a few lessons, ok ?

And from the few altercations I have witnessed, the correct procedure is:

a) knock your opponent to the ground, either with a head-butt to the bridge of the nose (the 'Glaswegian Kiss') or by punching them in the face whilst still holding your pint, or some other less pleasant method;

b) then threaten your opponent;

c) then kick your opponent in the ribs, kidneys or ghoolies according to taste;

d) if your incapacitation of your opponent including the spilling of any of your pint (e.g. when you 'glassed' him), you get to relieve your opponent of the contents of his wallet as compensation.

I have not directly witnessed the coup de grâce - urinating upon the victim - probably because I only frequented high class establishments in Glasgow, i.e. those with some carpet.

It is a VERY important Glaswegian tradition that you should always threaten after hitting; anything else is considered ungentlemanly and rude: it is suggesting your opponent requires a warning.

Be aware that if your opponent is a Geordie, everything will go horribly, horribly wrong right back at step (a).

e) Now run like ****. This is a very important cultural phenomenon, seemingly exclusive to the Scottish nation. There is no shame in this; it is simply because Scots have a habit of not knowing when they are beaten and insist on getting up and having a go back. It is a weakness they have.


HTH, 'cos it certainly helped me. So, thank you Drew.

[Cliphead]

And from the few altercations I have witnessed, the correct procedure is:

a) knock your opponent to the ground, either with a head-butt to the bridge of the nose (the 'Glaswegian Kiss') or by punching them in the face whilst still holding your pint, or some other less pleasant method;

Glasgow Kiss

[RichardCranium]

Glasgow Kiss

I am immensely grateful for the correction, sir, and greatly flattered that you only find fault with my nomenclature and none of the specifics for the procedures, activities or sequence.