Worst accident/illness thread?

[Mich the Tester]

No real illnesses or accidents. well lots of accidents but I was always rock solid, so things bounced off me.
I did get shot between the eyes when I was about 14, by a .22.
It knocked me out and the pellet is still lodged there, above my right eye. I'll give you a feel at the next CUK do

Did you lamp the bastard that did that?

[MarillionFan]

Did you lamp the bastard that did that?

It was a suicide attempt.

[EternalOptimist]

Did you lamp the bastard that did that?

No, but just thinking about the whole situation,theres enough material there for a cuk story

[Halo Jones]

Hmm this thread made me realise that in my youth I did some silly things:

I have sliced off the top of my big toe on a carpet transition strip.

Cracked my skull 3 times, (twice in swimming pools & once by not ducking as I cycled under a concrete ramp.

Cut across 2 fingers by grabbing a knife blade.

Broken wrist from falling out of a tree.

Blistered my eyeball by splashing hot oil in it

I have not been to A&E in years; let’s hope it stays that way.

[Churchill]

I'm in perfect physical condition I'm afraid.

Small but perfectly formed, eh?

[Old Greg]

I have lived a charmed life, presumably because God takes care of drunks, fools and little children.

[MaryPoppins]

Small but perfectly formed, eh?

Sssh don't tell 'em the truth

[darmstadt]

Spent 6 months in hospital once, came out and went back to work the next day on crutches with plaster up to my ribs and stayed like that for another 6 months. Broken my nose 14 times, all fingers on right hand a few times, fractured skull, ripped of a toe, broken toes, been shot twice (once with an air rifle in the head and once on the arse by a farmer who filled his cartridges with salt, you can guess where that hit!)

Used to be in A & E on a weekly basis when I was younger but have only been once since moving here. Got hit by a drunk driver in the early hours of the morning on the way home (I was a bit squiffy too I will admit) and woke up in an ambulance. I insisted that I was all tickety-boo but they ended up strapping me down. A few x-rays later and the doctor released me back into the custody of the police who promptly banged me up for the rest of the night. They eventually took me home and charged me DM72 for the pleasure. Personally I thought I had been spanked by some American GI's who I had been following and was taking the mickey out of. All I had was a few open cuts on my head which leaked into my pillow from where I went over the car and landed on the roof. I think it was probably my metal leg (see above) which saved me and quite probably dented the drivers car

[Churchill]

Stabbed 8 times in a fight.

I didn't know the bastard had a knife until I noticed my jeans were covered in blood, mine.

Stitches to left thigh, left side of the groin. defensive wounds to shin, forearms and a scar to left side of face.

And I still "won"

[OwlHoot]

Three sets of front teeth - Had to have the middle set removed when I was about 7 in a hospital operation, or the dentist reckoned the third set beneath and blocked by the second set might start growing outward.

Other than that no broken bones or major injuries or any illnesses as far as I can recall. God, some people here must be unbelievably clumsy.