UFOs and Aliens corner

[Mich the Tester]

From this months viz letters page..

"What is it with aliens always probing peoples rectums? Surely if thy've got the technology to travel halfway across the universe, they've got the imagination to think of something better to do than stick things up our arses"

Yes, and they’d probably be able to find somewhere better for their holidays than some boring little dump in Utah.

[FSM with Cheddar]

What is paradise without hell? If there is no misery and suffering, how do you enjoy the good bits?

Ok, so the conversation should actually be:

Alien: Hi.
Human: Welcome to hell.

[AlfredJPruffock]

Ronald Reagan, US President from 1980 to 1988,

"I looked out the window and saw this white light.It was zigzagging around. I went up to the pilot and said, 'Have you ever seen anything like that?' He was shocked and he said, 'nope.' And I said to him: 'Let's follow it!'

We followed it for several minutes. It was a bright white light.We followed it to Bakersfield, and all of a sudden to our utter amazement it went straight up into the heavens. When I got off the plane I told Nancy all about it."

[Mich the Tester]

Ronald Reagan, US President from 1980 to 1988,

"I looked out the window and saw this white light.It was zigzagging around. I went up to the pilot and said, 'Have you ever seen anything like that?' He was shocked and he said, 'nope.' And I said to him: 'Let's follow it!'

We followed it for several minutes. It was a bright white light.We followed it to Bakersfield, and all of a sudden to our utter amazement it went straight up into the heavens. When I got off the plane I told Nancy all about it."

...and she said 'yes dear, it's time to take your medication'.

[BrilloPad]

Ronald Reagan, US President from 1980 to 1988,

"I looked out the window and saw this white light.It was zigzagging around. I went up to the pilot and said, 'Have you ever seen anything like that?' He was shocked and he said, 'nope.' And I said to him: 'Let's follow it!'

We followed it for several minutes. It was a bright white light.We followed it to Bakersfield, and all of a sudden to our utter amazement it went straight up into the heavens. When I got off the plane I told Nancy all about it."

He was a totally sane chap.............

[FSM with Cheddar]

Ronald Reagan, US President from 1980 to 1988,

"I looked out the window and saw this white light.It was zigzagging around. I went up to the pilot and said, 'Have you ever seen anything like that?' He was shocked and he said, 'nope.' And I said to him: 'Let's follow it!'

We followed it for several minutes. It was a bright white light.We followed it to Bakersfield, and all of a sudden to our utter amazement it went straight up into the heavens. When I got off the plane I told Nancy all about it."

finished the joint

[ThomasSoerensen]

From this months viz letters page..

"What is it with aliens always probing peoples rectums? Surely if thy've got the technology to travel halfway across the universe, they've got the imagination to think of something better to do than stick things up our arses"

Have you heard of the concept of "Entertainment". Bum jokes never get old.

[AlfredJPruffock]

Dr J Allen Hynek US Air Force

"When the long-awaited solution to the UFO problem comes, I believe that it will prove to be not merely the next small step in the march of science, but a mighty and totally unexpected quantum leap... we had a job to do, whether right or wrong, to keep the public from getting excited."

[Mich the Tester]

You don’t think that these astonishingly intelligent little green men would find a way to evade the US military and get their message across to us all? If a Saudi Arabian goat herder can do it, I’m sure that intergalactic holidaymakers could manage that.

[AlfredJPruffock]

General Douglas MacArthur Korean and Second World War soldier

Said in 1955 that "the next war will be an interplanetary war. The nations of the earth must someday make a common front against attack by people from other planets. The politics of the future will be cosmic, or interplanetary".