Permie announcements that ring alarm bells

[BrilloPad]

"all out technology is based on SKA"

[TheFaQQer]

"Ah, you're the new team member. Your turn in the barrel this week, then."

[gingerjedi]

"all out technology is based on SKA"

How come you AV says 'GreatestOfDads'?

I've got a mug that says I'm the greatest.

[chris79]

I've got a company laptop and mobile! The boss has been asking me to submit holiday request form for any days I want over Christmas, I'll just ignore it and let him know on the day if I feel a bit sick and fancy a lie in.

"The Boss has..." .....???

Are you a contractor?

[chris79]

The best one I had was:-

"You can't take your paternity leave until the DAY the baby is born, this is the law we've checked it out, and it has to be taken all in one go".

Ok, well I'll just take some contractor absence instead then and if you don't like it you can instigate clause x.x to give me 4 weeks notice.

(This actually happened I kid you not).

Sorry, you are my client, not my boss, my manager, or any other honorary title you wish to give yourself in your fictional heirarchy.

[gingerjedi]

"The Boss has..." .....???

Are you a contractor?

The guy who's in charge of the department, notice I called him 'The boss' and not 'My boss' ...what should I call him then??

And no… I’m a disguised employee according to the government.

[TheFaQQer]

I'll just ignore it and let him know on the day if I feel a bit sick and fancy a lie in.

Does that not strike you as a touch unprofessional?

I tell the client the days that I'm unavailable as far in advance as possible, so that they can plan accordingly.

[rootsnall]

Here are your holiday request forms, here's the form you need to fill in if you are sick, here's HR's phone number if you need any help, here's the company uniform.

Toot toot, all aboard !!!

[Shimano105]

"Are you coming to the Christmas do?"

"It's a great place to work. If you work hard you might be able to apply for a proper job here"

"How do I go about being a Contractor? But what about my mortgage payments and kids?"

"You should get your pass and sign on soon, in the meantime just read these documents"

[EternalOptimist]

nobody told us you were coming