The Daily Mash

[Diver]

GLAM rock paedophile Gary Glitter has refused to return to the United Kingdom, insisting British children are far too fat and ugly.




He failed to board his flight to the UK from Bangkok last night, claiming the average British 12 year-old now looks like a short, chubby version of Dot Cotton...

...Glitter insisted he would only return to the UK if he was allowed to run some kind of pre-teen health and fitness club.

He's on his way with a takeaway

[daviejones]

Apprently he has been given a date for his release...
....


...she is only 8 but with her make up on she looks 12!!!


IGMC

[Peoplesoft bloke]

My all time favourite:

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/b...k-20080125680/

IIRC some dude posted that link on here thinking it was a serious story.

[Incognito]

The best one ever:

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/a...-200808131167/

Chen Qigang, the ceremony director, said: "Yang has voice of angel, but face of Shane McGowan from Pogues.

"We use her and world think China land of ugly troll, not hot Asia babe."

"So instead we get cute girl to mime to Yang's lovely voice. She honk like Peking duck, but beautiful like china doll."

[Bob Dalek]

My fave:

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/b...b-20080110648/