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The court heard Darren Upton had written a letter to Judge Sally Cahill QC saying he wasn’t “a typical inmate of prison”.
But the judge said: “That simply demonstrates your arrogance continues. You are typical. Inmates of prison are people who are dishonest. You are a thoroughly dishonestly man motivated by your own selfish greed.”
I drove my tractor through your haystack last night
(ooh aah ooh aah)
I threw me pitchfork at your dog to keep quiet
(ooh aah ooh aah)
Now something's telling me
That you'm avoiding me
Come on now darling you've got something I need
Cuz I got a brand new combine harvester
An' I'll give you the key
Come on now let's get together
In perfect harmony
I got twenty acres
An' you got forty-three
Now I got a brand new combine harvester
An' I'll give you the key
She made I laugh ha ha
I'll stick by you, I'll give you all that you need
We'll 'ave twins and triplets
I'm a man built for speed
And you know I'll love you darlin'
So give me your hand
But what I want the most
Is all they acres of land
Cuz I got a brand new combine harvester
An' I'll give you the key
Come on now let's get together
In perfect harmony
I got twenty acres
An' you got forty-three
Now I got a brand new combine harvester
An' I'll give you the key
Ooaah she's a lovely bit of stuff an' all
For seven long years I've been alone in this place
Eat, sleep, in the kitchen, it's a proper disgrace
Now if I cleaned it up would you change your mind
I'll give up drinking scrumpy and that lager and lime
Cuz I got a brand new combine harvester
An' I'll give you the key
Come on now let's get together
In perfect harmony
I got twenty acres
An' you got forty-three
Now I got a brand new combine harvester
An' I'll give you the key
Who loves ya baby ha
Weren't we a grand couple at that last wurzel dance
I wore brand new gaters and me cordouroy pants
In your new Sunday dress with your perfume smelling grand
We had our photos took and us holding hands
Now I got a brand new combine harvester
An' I'll give you the key
Now that we'me both past our fifties I think that you and me
Should stop this galavanting and will you marry me
Coz I got a brand new combine harvester
An' I'll give you the key
Aahh yu're a fine looking woman and I can't wait to get me 'ands on your land
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