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Having a BAD day

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    #31
    Originally posted by oracleslave View Post
    To this day I still laugh when I think about my old man confessing to killing my hamster. Apparently he was in the lounge watching telly when what he thought was a mouse sneaked past in his peripheral vision. Apparently he took to it with his shoe creating an unholy mess, i.e. an open casket would not have been an option. When my old lady realised and informed him he had killed my hamster he was distraught. I think I'd forgotten about it a week after he told me it died of old age.


    Brilliant.

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      #32
      When I was a kid my folks bought me a puppy (Lester) He lasted about 3 days as he was really ill. I thought things were not right when proud as punch I took him for his first (and only) drag around the block. He obviosly didn't want to know. On the third day I came in from school and my little brother met me at the door with the words - Your dog is dead...Mum killed it! I ran to see his (new and hardly used) basket only to find that it had been binned

      Nothing like breaking the bad news......

      Actually it was the vet who killed it, although I still suspect it was my dad and a shovel to put him out of his misery and save a few quid.
      Rule Number 1 - Assuming that you have a valid contract in place always try to get your poo onto your timesheet, provided that the timesheet is valid for your current contract and covers the period of time that you are billing for.

      I preferred version 1!

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        #33
        Friend of mine had a chinchilla as a pet.

        Ferkin thing escaped one day, gnawed every bleedin' wire in the lounge then disappeared.

        About 3 weeks later, I was visiting him and I got up to make a cuppa in his kitchen.

        The smell hit me as soon as I opened the door.

        As I bent down, trying to locate the smell, I noticed a small army of maggots wriggling out from under the fridge.

        I moved the fridge, and voila...one semi-decomposed chinchilla, that had got caught up in the wire rack thing at the back of a fridge.

        So I donned some Marigold gloves, yanked the little fella out, popped him (along with his friends) on a plate.

        I finished making the tea, then carried his cup and the plate of death (tm) out to his garden workshop.

        He wasn't inside, so I left both items on his workbench.

        I passed him, on the way back to the house, coming down the stairs from the upstairs loo.

        I said "Your tea's in the shed. Oh, and I found Cuddles. He's in the shed as well. Go take a look. I've got to go, fianceé just called".

        So off he heads to the garden shed, just as I'm getting in to my car on the drive.

        I swear the scream was heard by everyone in the cul-de-sac.


        ps...£20 for an injection seems a bit steep. I'd have stoved its' head in with a shovel forra fiver.
        Last edited by Board Game Geek; 29 May 2008, 14:21. Reason: oops...I typed "fiancé"...I meant "fianceé
        Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

        C.S. Lewis

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          #34
          Originally posted by Board Game Geek View Post
          Oh, and I found Cuddles. He's in the shed as well. Go take a look. I've got to go, fiance just called


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            #35
            Originally posted by realityhack View Post
            But it's still handy for a party trick or two - why not involve the kids and make it a family activity dressing the frozen wee spiky beast as different characters? Try 'snow queen of Narnia' with an origami crown for starters. Take some pictures, make a website...

            Plan B anyone?
            You could then take donations..........
            Like this

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