Divorcee's £600,000 plea of poverty

[BrilloPad]

What about the "shotgun" gambit?

I believe gambit is an opening move? Shotgun tends to be the final move. Men always seem to make the wrong choices at the wrong time. There are better options.

[Platypus]

I also got the nominal spousal changed from 'pay for life' to just the duration of the child maintenance.

Humm I wish I had pushed for that... I can see I'm going to regret it in the future

I think you did well.

[BrilloPad]

Humm I wish I had pushed for that... I can see I'm going to regret it in the future

I think you did well.

Tough to get as both parties have to agree to child maintenance court order.

It took me months to agree that the ex could make no claim on me after my death!

[ratewhore]

Don't get me wrong, she was still an absolute f***ing bitch throughout as she knew, like all women know, they have the system on their side...

[Badger]

We had to have a meeting with the judge who ruled the I was paying the ex too much and we had to agree on a different settlement (the judge was female too).

I now only pay/give money to the ex for the kids on a sliding scale until the littlest is 18/leaves fulltime school.

But I'll never stop paying for them, I'm their dad

[BrilloPad]

We had to have a meeting with the judge who ruled the I was paying the ex too much and we had to agree on a different settlement (the judge was female too).

I now only pay/give money to the ex for the kids on a sliding scale until the littlest is 18/leaves fulltime school.

But I'll never stop paying for them, I'm their dad

I have found far better results with women judges - they seem to understand that assuming that children are looked after by women equates to men work. They understand that for equality at work there must be equality at home.

Am I the only one here who refused to pay for the children via court order?

[Badger]

I can also recommend a very good family law solicitor in Leatherhead (also female), who will work on an adhoc/hourly pro rata'd basis so you don't have to pay the ridiculus retainers some solicitors require for doing nothing.

[BrilloPad]

I can also recommend a very good family law solicitor in Leatherhead (also female), who will work on an adhoc/hourly pro rata'd basis so you don't have to pay the ridiculus retainers some solicitors require for doing nothing.

Solicitors should only be used for divorce and financial aspects thereof. If you have to.

I still think that if family court solicitors were fire(wo)men and turned up to a housefire they would pour napalm on.

NEVER EVER EVER use a solicitor for child access matters. You will spend loads and get nowhere.

[Badger]

Good advice. I never did. I only used one (after getting my fingers burnt by a useless one) for the official paperwork and court submissions, never for any negotiations.

[Platypus]

But I'll never stop paying for them, I'm their dad

No but once they're 18 you can give what you like directly to them rather than have it (mis)spent by your ex on their behalf.

Without the child maintenance money my ex would have to get a job, poor lamb.