Lucky Escapes!

[Xenophon]

Next time you visit the parents Kathy, for everyones sake, I think its best if I take you up the back alley

Very considerate of you.

[MickeyP]

Great thread.

I was about 21 in a rush to get to the nightclub (Harpers Guildford) so instead of waiting at the crossing 20 metres away I decided to vault the central reservation. This wouldn't have been a problem had the other side of the reservation kerb not had a camber on it. Result was when I landed I went over on my ankle and ended up on all fours with a car bearing down on me. Eyes shut and waiting for impact I even recall hearing a girl in the queue screaming "oh no!". Luckily the bloke driving had had less to drink than I had.

[PAH]

Some kids got their mother to me and she pulled me out of the mud but in doing so I got a twisted testical.

I once got a twisted testicle at junior school. Some sort of kiss chase game. The girl that did it to me turned out to be one of the fittest at high school. She never did want to play that game again.

I suppose she had a lucky escape, she'd still be chained up in my basement, the ***** teaser!

[Xenophon]

I once got a twisted testicle at junior school. Some sort of kiss chase game. The girl that did it to me turned out to be one of the fittest at high school. She never did want to play that game again.

You are Charlie Brown.

AAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!

[PAH]

Result was when I landed I went over on my ankle and ended up on all fours with a car bearing down on me.

Very lucky. I know someone whose brother was recently very seriously injured by a taxi, after similar trying to cross a busy road whilst pissed up antics.

[PAH]

You are Charlie Brown.

AAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!

Never really watched any, but after a very quick google, you could be right.

Tell me he gets lucky in the end and has a long memorable relationship with Kelly Brook. That is the guy she's just dumped isn't it?

[PAH]

But I said I wasn't available...

I'd have asked if they had any clown vacancies available. If they say no, they're obviously fully staffed at the moment.

[MickeyP]

Very lucky. I know someone whose brother was recently very seriously injured by a taxi, after similar trying to cross a busy road whilst pissed up antics.

Yeah I was quite shaken by it. I wasn't totally pissed but had enough to make the incorrect decision not to wait at the crossing in the first place.

On the flip side at around that same time I had a young lad run out from between some parked cars right in front of me. I slammed on the anchors but he was up on the bonnet but escaped luckily unscathed. That shook me up even more I think.

I'm wondering now if it was Wilmslow?

[wc2]

I fell off the roof of my house (25ft) and sprained my ankle.

1 year to the date I kicked the bottom of a greenhouse while playing a game with the kids (Had an 18" piece of glass through my lower arm) I was pissed at the time and found it quite funny.

The doctors were thinking of snapping the glass whilst in my arm as it was of equal length. In the end they just pulled it out. When the nurses got round to stitching it up the anesthetic and run out. I did a "Threaded" and just told them to get on with it as I was gagging for a smoke.

[KathyWoolfe]

Sorry, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get past that.

It's the way I tell 'em