What's in Your Cupboard?

[The Lone Gunman]

You should keep a kettle by your bed for your morning brew.

Boil it and take it downstairs to confront the intruder. Chuck the contents all over said intruder.

If plod asks, you were pouring a nice drop of camomile to help you sleep when you heard a noise. Took kettle without thinking. Paniced and threw water at burglar.

[Charles Foster Kane]

I got a big fuk off knife next to my bed, anyone comes in I'll make them a nice sandwhich!

Why would you want to make a burglar a sandwich?

[Cooperinliverp00l]

I got a big fuk off knife next to my bed, anyone comes in I'll make them a nice sandwhich!

hmmm making me hungry. Will pop round yours tonight

[Clippy]

I got a big fuk off knife next to my bed, anyone comes in I'll make them a nice sandwhich!

I'm more worried by you than any would be intruder!

[Lockhouse]

Nando's Spicy Sauce.

[andy]

extra hot chilli powder

[el duder]

You dont need weapons - just batter them.

Take no tulip, and let the anger be released - its the only way.

Well its alright for you, you could just sit on them. The rest of us would have to use a weapon.

[NoddY]

Dim: Prawn cocktail sauce for cannibalistic nights in

[dotnetter]

Why would you want to make a burglar a sandwich?

You obviously havnt tasted my sandwiches

[Swamp Thing]

Couple of ice-axes in the cupboard. Nicely sharpened tips, and one of them has a hammer-head for bludgeoning work.

If the thieving feckers visit me, I'll do a Leon Trotsky on them.