Office etiquette

[angusglover]

I'd forgotten since starting this contract that women sometimes populate offices too...

Yeah, I get caught all the time...oops, sorry luv...

[Chugnut]

You're walking across the office towards the coffee machine / bog and a fellow employee or contractor who works in the same area as you is walking in the opposite direction towards you.

Do you:

a) Mumble "alright", or the person's name, or both.
b) Pretend to be texting on your mobile or reading the bit of paper in your hand
c) Look at the floor/ceiling
d) Pretend that something highly interesting (e.g. a brightly coloured stapler) has caught your eye
e) Try (and fail) to say something witty

f) Lick your lips suggestively.
g) Lick their lips suggestively.
h) If going to the toilet, run past them at top speed yelling "step aside friend, I've got one in the departure lounge that can't wait!".
i) Wink, and say "who's looking at you kid?" in a Bogart stylee.
j) Take broad steps whilst fixing them with a piercing stare and grinning inanely. (Google image Freewheeling Franklin for guidance).
k) Do nothing, but slap them on the @rse as you pass by. Don't acknowledge this and continue walking.

That's all I can think of at the moment. I've tested them all this morning and they've made me incredibly popular, rich, and successful.

Good luck.

HTH

[timh]

l) High-five
m) Ignore completely until they're alongside you, then moonwalk backwards to keep pace.

[chicane]

Do you have a problem interacting with other people?

Not generally speaking, but I have to admit that this particular one eludes me. A bit like the situation in the supermarket where you see somebody for the second time on the same visit.

[Clippy]

n) grab your crotch and screech in a Michael Jackson stylee
o) say 'Yeah Baby' in an Austin Powers type way

[Chugnut]

Not generally speaking, but I have to admit that this particular one eludes me. A bit like the situation in the supermarket where you see somebody for the second time on the same visit.

The second time you see them it is considered acceptable to go through their trolley and comment on their purchases.

[SallyAnne]

You're walking across the office towards the coffee machine / bog and a fellow employee or contractor who works in the same area as you is walking in the opposite direction towards you.

Do you:

a) Mumble "alright", or the person's name, or both.
b) Pretend to be texting on your mobile or reading the bit of paper in your hand
c) Look at the floor/ceiling
d) Pretend that something highly interesting (e.g. a brightly coloured stapler) has caught your eye
e) Try (and fail) to say something witty

The fact that you have even thought about this "dilema" suggests that the Asbergers has well and truly set in mate!!

Change your career at once to something with human interaction!

[Sysman]

The fact that you have even thought about this "dilema" suggests that the Asbergers has well and truly set in mate!!

Change your career at once to something with human interaction!

He/she could simply be a southerner.

[SallyAnne]

He/she could simply be a southerner.

Ah yes, good point

[FiveTimes]

You're walking across the office towards the coffee machine / bog and a fellow employee or contractor who works in the same area as you is walking in the opposite direction towards you.

Do you:

a) Mumble "alright", or the person's name, or both.
b) Pretend to be texting on your mobile or reading the bit of paper in your hand
c) Look at the floor/ceiling
d) Pretend that something highly interesting (e.g. a brightly coloured stapler) has caught your eye
e) Try (and fail) to say something witty

or

t) Raise eyebrows and a gentle nod...