What is a perfect person?

[freakydancer]

What would the perfect person be like?

I've never thought about it before, but when I told my daughter that I was perfect, she asked me to define what a perfect person is.

And Chico, feck right off.

I'd have to say the perfect person is probably me.

[BoredBloke]

"She's deaf and dumb and oversexed and owns a liquor store."

Aww that is what I was going to say - A deaf, mute, nympho pub owner. Stolen from Bob Williamsons' 'Still Hazy After All These Beers' album which me and my mate learned when I was about 9. Got banned from the school Chritmas concert for singing the saga of Jonny and Gertrude as my audition.

Strangely the teachers laughed but wouldn't let me sing it to the rest of the school.

Little Johnny was playing in the garden one day playing with cards and dice
When into the garden came litte Gertrude carrying 3 white mice
"I've got some of them" johnny said Gert said "No You've not"
"So I'll bet you a penny stick of Spanish I've got everything that you've got"

Little Johnny pulled up his little pullover laid his navel bare
As he stood there pointing said "I bet you aint got one of them there"
"Yes I have" she lifted up her blouse. "Yes I have" said Gert
"But the only differecnce between mine and yours is mine isn't covered with dirt"

So little johnny pulled down his little pair of trousers showed her what laid beneath
When little Gertrude saw she didn't have one she was overcome with greif
She dropped her mouse ran into the house and shouting for her mum
"Little Johnnys has got something under his pants and mummy I havn't got one"

Two ticks later she came out of the house she didn't make a sound
little johny was jumping bursting with pride waving his thing around
She said "It's alright john I know you've won but I don't really mind"
"Cos my mummy said while I've got one of these I can get one of them anytime"

[el duder]

What would the perfect person be like?

I've never thought about it before, but when I told my daughter that I was perfect, she asked me to define what a perfect person is.

And Chico, feck right off.

Last nights date.

[gingerjedi]

Last nights date.

So perfect is boring and stuck up? I'll take ordinary and imperfect every day.

[wobbegong]

Last nights date.

But she didn't even put out, much less, gargle!