Life on the Bench - An unemployed contractors story

[wendigo100]

550 a day, jesus you must be good (when you are working, obviously) What do you do SA ?

She works one day a year.

[MarillionFan]

"550 a day, jesus you must be good (when you are working, obviously) What do you do SA ?"

"I've met her. The rate she is talking about is for a high class escort. Well in her case a Mark 2."

About 20 miles to the gallon. BOOM BOOM.

[wendigo100]

"550 a day, jesus you must be good (when you are working, obviously) What do you do SA ?"

"I've met her. The rate she is talking about is for a high class escort. Well in her case a Mark 2."

About 20 miles to the gallon. BOOM BOOM.

Ah, now I get the original joke! Thanks MF.

[tim123]

If you are getting offers of 550 why aren't you taking them?

And if you normally work for that much why do you only have 5K in the bank?

You could save that much in 3 weeks.

tim

(OK, I exaggerate a little)

[n5gooner]

nice girl our SallyAnne, having met her too, well worth £550

[sasguru]

Do CUKkers get a discount?

[Captain Jack]

Do you take cheques Sally Anne?

[MarillionFan]

"Do you take cheques Sally Anne?"

Shes a high class escort Capn, not a bank teller!

[Captain Jack]

Are there any bank tellers any more? Went to my local town centre HSBC (large branch) last week and there was a note stuck on the door saying that "in order to rationalise and enhance our customers' experience of HSBC, counter service is no longer available in this branch. Please use the machines in the lobby." The fecking paying in machine then chewed up a cheque from HMRC and it will probably take 6 months to get them to issue another one.

In fact the only member of staff in the branch was a pension/mortgage salesman.

[SallyAnne]

"Do you ever get the urge to phone round high class escorts and tell them you earn more than they do."

I've met her. The rate she is talking about is for a high class escort. Well in her case a Mark 2.

yeah yeah, very good MF

To answer some of the others...
I havn't been offerred any jobs yet, just got my CV in. I'll be taking the first job I get offerred.

For those who still dont know, I'm an Oracle Applications Developer - £550 + vat is te going rate for me's.

I'm useless with money - I had £25k in the bank off my last gig, but I got stung for a vat bill of £5,500 (bastards), then my corp tax bill was due, I've paid myself £3k for the last 3 months....leaving £5k in the bank.
It doesn't go very far!!!