Originally posted by jamesbrown
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That almost sounds like a request 
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A command. It would not dare disobey. -
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Anyway they dont reckon conger they reckon it's a fangtooth snake-eel.What happens in General, stays in General.You know what they say about assumptions!Comment
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Urban Dictionary: conger eelOriginally posted by jamesbrown View PostThat almost sounds like a requestComment
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Brillo has just been in touch to say that's Ex-Wife No 3.
HTH
MFWhat happens in General, stays in General.You know what they say about assumptions!Comment
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A man was in a sex shop looking for a gift for his wife. Mother's Day was just around the corner and he wanted to get her the perfect gift. He was having trouble deciding so he went up to the counter to get some help. He asked the girl at the counter, a stunningly hot blonde, what her favorite toy was. Without hesitation she answered, "Oh, definitely the Magic Dildo!"Originally posted by jamesbrown View PostThat almost sounds like a request
"Magic Dildo?", asked the man.
"Yes. It's quite possibly the most advanced sex toy ever created. All you have to do is say the words 'Magic Dildo' followed by the part of your body you want it to ****... and it will. Care for a demonstration? I never leave home without mine."
The man was slightly confused by what he was hearing. It didn't sound possible. So, being the skeptic, he accepted her offer for a demonstration. The girl took out her purse, unzipped it, then said "Magic Dildo my pussy!"
Just like that, out from her purse erupted a shining golden dildo. It quickly flew below the counter and up the shop keepers skirt. She grasped the glass display case in front of her and began moaning intensely. In between gasps, a few seconds later, she managed "Magic Dildo stop!"
There was no need for hesitation. The man bought one right then and there! The girl, still trembling, quickly punched in his purchase then hurriedly ran to the back room with her purse. As the man left, all he could hear was, "Magic Dildo my pussy!" Followed by a long satisfied scream.
He could hardly wait to see his wife's reaction to the gift. He'd never felt this excited in his entire life! He jumped into his car and tore off for home. Racing down the interstate he was swerving from lane to lane, driving like a mad man. Just then he noticed a police car pulling out behind him. Hoping that maybe they didn't see him, he slowed down to a reasonable speed. But it was too late. The sirens came on.
Reluctantly he pulled over to the side of the road. The cop car pulled in behind him. The officer approached his door, and started the usual spiel, "License and registration."
The glint of the gold packaging caught the officers eye. After looking a bit closer, thinking it may be a gun, he saw the picture on the box. More than a bit repulsed, the cop demanded, "What in God's name is that thing?!"
The man, having just retrieved his registration from the glove compartment, looked down at the box. His face flushed in embarrassment, he turned to the officer and said, "That's uhh... A Magic Dildo. It's for my wife. An early Mother's Day gift."
Still sickened, the cop regretfully retorts, "Yeah right. Magic Dildo, huh? Magic Dildo my arse!"Comment
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She threatened to go for maintenance. She had to sleep with the fishes.Originally posted by MarillionFan View PostComment
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