Very annoying colleague

[Mincepie]

Unfortunately not, I am considering a contract in the sandwich shop at Richmond station though to escape

[alreadypacked]

Unfortunately not, I am considering a contract in the sandwich shop at Richmond station though to escape

Send him an email and bullet point each of your issues.

Ask him to send you a meeting request if he would like to discuss any points with you.

Do not attend any meetings he is attending for about a week.

Sometimes people don't get the message, until you send it special delivery.

[Gumbo Robot]

Its been a long time since i had to experience such a person this close for this long. I find myself constantly apologising to people about the guy in my team. No one listened to me when i said we shouldnt hire this guy but i have to deal with him.

I trying to smile and keep invoicing but I have become an alcoholic since he started

You think you have it bad now.

Just imagine pair programming with somebody as ghastly as that.

I mean , imagine getting up at 5 am on a cold, dark winter morning with a low grade hangover, not having slept very well, to spend 2 hours in a traffic jam
followed by a whole day of having this individual right in your personal space

[curtis]

I am working with someone where I am now that has slowly driven me to drink, I know its getting bad as its filtering over into my personal life and I dread going to work in the morning.

It used to be ok until they started 4 months ago, like you I have to work in the same team as this person and find it very hard to ignore them when they are sat a desk away. You keep getting asked questions which after what feels like 2 hours of waffle you eventually manage to interupt and ask what exactly they are trying to do or got asked in the first place!! Given how bad it is i told them at the last extension offer I am only staying a short time longer which I am so pleased about now as every day I have got more and more frustrated.

Unfortunately there are some people who can not get hints or even be told obvioulsy that they are a pain in the ar$e

[Dallas]

Keep sabotaging his desktop kit.

I have 2 empty desks next to me through that

[barrydidit]

Forum give me some tips on how i can murder him and get away with it

Back on topic, you need to make it look like suicide/misadventure/accidental death. Police and coroners will need to be fooled so plan carefully.

Options to be considered;
- falling from height
- road traffic accident
- poisoning (rat poison in his cocaine would be ideal, but carbon monoxide in his house would work too)
- suffocation (at the hands of a hooker for preference)
- electrocution - a faulty electric shower maybe

Watching some old Miss Marples or Frosts or Columbo ought to give you some more ideas.

Or, if you wanted to be boring then try moving desks, WFH or just telling him to STFU.

[OwlHoot]

Watching some old Miss Marples or Frosts or Columbo ought to give you some more ideas. ...

or some obscure poison, like cone shell venom

Even if it doesn't kill him, it'll make him clam up!

[PurpleGorilla]

just keep saying "and the point is..."

Or the direct "shut the f up" approach.

[Mincepie]

The Developer has the hump now with him

[MicrosoftBob]

Back on topic, you need to make it look like suicide/misadventure/accidental death. Police and coroners will need to be fooled so plan carefully.

Options to be considered;
- falling from height
- road traffic accident
- poisoning (rat poison in his cocaine would be ideal, but carbon monoxide in his house would work too)
- suffocation (at the hands of a hooker for preference)
- electrocution - a faulty electric shower maybe

Watching some old Miss Marples or Frosts or Columbo ought to give you some more ideas.

Or, if you wanted to be boring then try moving desks, WFH or just telling him to STFU.

Couldn't you just send Suity as a substitute, you can't be prosecuted for that one